I'm A Weird RM

Yesterday was a little bit weird for me.

Okay.

A lot a bit.

There was a homecoming in my ward for a sister who served her full 18 months. The goal for all sister missionaries, ya know? That year a half that we devote to this beautiful gospel we have been blessed with.

I got my 9 months and came home.

And don't get me wrong. It was what had to happen. I needed to come home. Especially since I'm still getting my killer migraines. Side note: Not as fun as people thing they are. -.-

ANYWHO. Back to topic.

So I'm sitting there in sacrament meeting listening to this sister speak. And it was beautiful. Really. I thought she did a phenomenal job and really invited the spirit to be there with us. She was the typical sister missionary. The soft, sweet voice. The maturity of growing and experiencing life in a different culture. All of that jazz.

Then I thought back to myself.

...If you know me.. I'm not that. I never was the sister to sit and say in hushed, loving tones: "Well, brother and sister, Blah blah blah blah." That wasn't me. I was loud. I was direct. I was straight to the point. I cracked jokes constantly.

Coming home, I felt like I wasn't converted like other sister missionaries. That I must not have done my part in the field. I just took it for a joke.

IT'S NOT TRUE.

Satan, ya know? He works at ya. Gets to you in whatever way He possibly can.

Okay, so maybe I'm not like most sister missionaries to return from their mission.

BUT I DON'T WANT TO BE.

While I was out in the beautiful country of Mexico, I really learned who I was. I learned that it's okay to like yourself. That I may be freaking weird... but that is why I had so many amazing relationships. I believe that we are sent to our missions for who we ARE. Not just what we need to become.

The people that I came to know in Mexico, even for my short time I was there, were the greatest humans to ever exist. I can tell you for a FACT that I was sent to Mexico to meet Perla and Ofelia Mendoza. Ramon Calderon. The Maldonado Family. Maria Hernandez. Dani and Ale Navarro. And so many more. Whether it was for them or for me... I know that because of who I am, it was necessary to meet them. 

Sure. I changed dramatically on my mission. My testimony is unshakeable, now. I know that this Gospel of Jesus Christ is the true gospel. I know that I am a daughter of a KING. I learned how to live alone, and how to take care of your companion when they need someone. I learned to not judge someone for their past, no matter how bleak and hard it might have been. I came to know that I have a relationship with my Heavenly Father.. a relationship that means more to me than anything else on the planet.

What am I trying to say with this random post of words?

It's okay. It's okay to be the weird sister missionary who still is loud and crazy. It's okay to feel like you aren't LIKE THE REST.

Be you. Be who you want to be. Do what you want to do. Say what you want and need to say. I'm grateful I'm not like other sister missionaries that have come home. I'm grateful that I'm still just as crazy as the day I left. I'm grateful that I found out who I am.

The mission... My heart isn't all here with me in little Utah. Benemerito, Vallejo... that is where the other part of me is. And it will forever be a place indescribable.

The Spirit Testifies

There are many things from my mission that I keep near and dear to my heart. Things that only my companions and I shared, whether with each other or with the amazing people we were with. They are things that I will never be able to express or share with others, because they are so special to me. So sacred.
But there is one story that I will always share. I will always testify that the Holy Ghost is a partner, right along with our Savior and Heavenly Father. The Holy Ghost will ALWAYS testify of the truth. Of the things we should be doing. The good. The correct. The "bueno".
My last week before I came home was a roller coaster. It was one week that I will never be able to forget. Every day is etched in my testimony.
Monday was an amazing day. I got to see old friends in the mission. We were able to hang out, eat some tacos, and just talk and relax. The joy of P-day. While there, I received a call from President Hall. He asked my companion and I to come to his house that night so that I could talk with my amazing stake president, President Spackman. We had to discuss what we were going to do about my health problems. Whether I was going to stay in the mission.
Now you have to understand... up to this point, I had been fighting my illness for 7 months. I was doing everything to stay. I wasn't ever ready to go. But then again, I don't think anyone really ever is.
We got to President Hall's house, and I ran upstairs to chat with President Spackman. The second we started talking, I just cried. Hearing a voice from home that has influenced me since I was a little girl was a tender moment. We talked and we both knew I was going to stay. I was going to finish this mission if it killed me. I had the desire. The faith. It was the goal. With that, we ended the phone call, both on a good note. I had an appointment with the mission doctor the next day to see if he would clear me to stay or not.
You could say my anxiety was at a level 47 on a scale of 1-10.
Tuesday, I headed out with two other Hermana's leaving my daughter, Hermana Gomez, in another area with another missionary. Side note: Never was fun to do that. We both were so relieved to be home together again every time.
The doctor was located at the Mexico Temple, so it was about an hour and a half drive from our mission. Long, stressful, and a painful. That is the only way to describe this unavoidable drive. We got to his offices, and started to discuss with the doctors the problems I had been having. By this time, I had already visited the doctors multiple times in my mission. We had a pretty good relationship. After about 25 minutes of discussion, the doctor and his wife looked me straight in the eye and said, "I'm sorry, sister. We think the only option for you is to go home and get the help you need."
My heart broke.
You know that pain, that heartache that you can literally feel pounding in your chest?
I was experiencing this. But I wasn't ready to back down. To stop. To just... give up.
I'm not a quitter.
We returned home, all a little bit more quiet. This wasn't the end. We knew it.
Wednesday came. I was sick that day. We went and did as much work as we could. But I just couldn't keep up with the flow of the day. My head was killing me. My vision was in and out all day. I stayed with members while my companion went to work with a member. I slept a lot that day.. so, so, so much.
Thursday. Thursday was...
There really isn't a word for it. I could say it was the most heartbreaking day in my entire life. The hardest thing I had ever done. The saddest decision I had ever had to make. I could say all of that. But it wouldn't explain the feelings that I had this day. I woke up, still sick. But I wasn't wasting another day in the house. We went to work, just as we always did. We met up with the elders at 2:00 to go and eat with a member of our amazing ward. While there, I received a call from President Hall. He asked how I was feeling, and me.. being Courtney.. replied, "So good, President! I feel great!" Needless to say, he could tell by my tone of held back tears, I wasn't doing so hot. He asked me, "Hermana Hamilton. I need to know. What is your decision? Are you going to stay or go home? This is your decision, but I need to know."
My response? "President. I'm not going. I won't. I'm staying. We have so much work to do here. I will suck it up. I will work through it. It's WORTH IT."
President Hall - "Okay, hermana. It's okay. I will let your stake president know."
I went back into the members house, a little shaken up, but feeling good with my decision.
Then twenty minutes passed.
20. Minutes.
President called us again. I thought he would be telling me, "Hermana Hamilton, your stake president is on board with you staying. You're going to be okay."

That was not the call I got.

Me - "Hi, president! Everything okay?"
President Hall - "Hermana.. I think you need to come to my house. I feel like we need to call your parents."
Me - "But President... I said I'm staying?"
President - "I know, Hermana. But I just feel like we need to call them."

I started crying the second we hung up. We jumped in a taxi, silent the entire way there. Hermana Gomez just kept patting my shoulder. Letting me know it was going to be alright. We got to President's house, hugs were shared, and I went upstairs to call my mom. When they answered, three of my favorite people happened to be there.
My mom.
My grandpa.
And my baby sister.
We started chatting. My mom wanted to know everything. EVERYTHING. I told her how I was feeling, but that I wanted to stay. I didn't understand why we were even talking! My mom agreed, and my sister and grandpa supported her. We were all on the same page. I was staying. No if's, and's, or but's. After half an hour of beating around it, trying to find out why we were even talking, I asked to talk to my little sister.
Now, you have to know. This girl is a little punk. But she is the child that I love and respect more than any other person on the entire planet. She is my best friend. She is my girl. I asked her straightforward what I should do.
Gracie was in agreement with my mom and grandpa. But the next thing she said to me changed everything.
She literally stopped. Thought for a second. And said, "Court... I want you to stay out.. but I think you need to come home. I think this is something bad and you need to be here so it doesn't get worse."

And with that, I knew I was coming home. In that instant, the Spirit testified to me... more than I have ever felt in my entire life. It was a wave of reassurance. Of clarity. This is the decision I was looking for. I had spent 7 months praying and asking which answer was right. I never received an answer. I spend 7 months telling my Heavenly Father that I was staying. I was going to finish the Lord's Errand I was on. But the second this little 13 year old girl told me I needed to come home, I received the answer I had been searching for. The craziest part? I'm not the only one who knew. My mom and grandpa had felt it in that moment. We all started sobbing. We knew that was it. I was going home. I was going HOME.

I got off the phone with them, still crying. I went to talk with President Hall and stepped into his office...and just lost it. I cried more than I think I ever had in my entire mission. He told me he knew I was going before I said anything. He was just letting me make the decision for myself.

I didn't have the heart to tell my companion, but she knew. She just.. knew. We hugged and cried and cried and hugged a little bit more.

Friday came and President was on the phone with Salt Lake City, telling them what was going to happen. That I would need to be home as soon as possible.

Saturday the secretaries called me telling me I would be leaving Monday morning with the other elders and sisters that were finishing their missions.

Sunday, I packed my entire life in a few suitcases, said goodbye to the greatest ward of my life, the greatest missionaries that I had the pleasure of working with, and my best friend, my companion. I got to presidents house, I had my final interview. We did the big last dinner. Then a testimony meeting that was one of the most beautiful experiences of my mission.

Monday morning, I woke up. I got dressed and ready, just as always. I threw my luggage in a car, and we were off. We got to the airport and started to head home. We landed in Dallas, feeling more strange than ever. Everyone knew English.. it was getting real.
We were coming h-o-m-e.

Pulling into the Salt Lake City airport was... emotional. First, you see the mountains. Then you see the B for Bountiful, while passing MY Bountiful temple. The next sight is the city. Our tiny little city that we love... then you see the Salt Lake Temple. And you know. You feel it.
You've made it.
I remember jumping onto my knees in the seat and looking back at the elders I was coming home with. We all had tears in our eyes.

Coming out of the plane, down the stairs, and around the corner to a whole gaggle of people crying and cheering for you is one of the most... amazing things you will ever feel. You will ever see. I remember running to my mom and sister and brother, throwing my arms around them. Just crying.

I was home.

It was hard. Hard to make the decision to come. But I know that God had me come home for a reason. I did what I was supposed to in Mexico. And even if I wished it could have been longer, it was time. I will forever be grateful for my little sister, opening her mouth and just saying what needed to be said. And I will testify until the day I die and hereafter... the Spirit is always with us when we are living correctly. He will help us with those decisions that maybe we aren't ready to admit. But He will comfort us. Be our friend. Our companion. This gospel is true. It's black and white. It's either all true, or it's not. And I can say, with complete surety, I know for myself, that the Gospel of Jesus Christ, The Church Of Jesus Christ Of Latter-day Saints is the true church. I know it. And I am grateful for that knowledge that I have gained for myself.

Companions to Friends to Sisters

The view from the top of my first house in Benemerito, Arbolillo. This was my first area where I served for four and a half months. My first companion was Hermana Alvarez (26) from Cuernavaca, Mexico. We were together for the first six weeks.

 After my first transfer, Hermana Alvarez was transferred and I received Hermana Garzon (25) from Bogota, Columbia. She taught me everything from how to teach to how to study and how to be a missionary. We were together for three months in our little Benemerito. 

**************

I was then transferred!

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I had finally been moved from my little 4-streets-by-4-streets area. I was going to transfer to the zone Linda Vista 1, and I was heading for the ward, Vallejo. We showed up at transfers, and I met my new companion! Hermana Rodriguez (22) from Tijuana, Mexico. 

I had finally gained enough confidence to speak the language, and we went CRAZY. I loved my time with Hermana Rodriguez. We had so much fun together. Truth? My first little bit in Vallejo was rough. I didn't want to be there, and I really struggled. Thankfully, my companion was my friend and kept pushing me. We saw so many miracles in this area. We knew we would only be together for a short time, though. Hermana Rodriguez was transferred to Villa De Las Flores after 6 weeks. 

**************

When we got the calls for transfers.. I remember everything. We had been eating tacos with our bishop and mission leader at about 11:00 at night. Elder Barber, my zone leader, told me that Hermana Rodriguez would be leaving. Cue my tears. Then he went on to tell me that I would be... wait for it...

TRAINING!!!

I freaked. I didn't feel ready at ALL. I felt as though I needed more time to get the language down.. to understand the area.. know the ward. But of course, I didn't have a say in any of this. It was all in God's hands. Monday morning we went to transfers and I jumped in Presidents car, and off we went to meet the newbies! 

**************

We walked in and saw all the new sisters. We were all waiting for president, and knew he was going to be awhile. The assistants numbered us off and sent us out to contact. I was paired with Hermana Gomez (19) from Veracruz Mexico. We went out, and it was AWKWARD. Normally, I could talk with anyone, but with her, it was hard! We went back to presidents house, and he was getting ready to pair us up. I knew, knew, KNEW that I would be paired with Hermana Gomez. President said, "Hermana Gomez... your companion is... HERMANA HAMILTON."

 

 I died. I knew it was going to happen. We headed go our area, and started out. I didn't know WHAT we were going to do, but it had to be good. For the first few days, we didn't talk that much. She was really quiet.. We had our first companionship inventory on Thursday, where we both told each other, "Okay. I'm not a serious person like this.. can we joke and laugh please?" She went on to tell me that I was intimidating. 

Hermana Gomez and I were together for 6 short weeks, before I came home. I will forever be grateful to Hermana Gomez. She was my best friend in the mission, my daughter, and the best companion that I ever had. I learned SO much from her, and loved our time together. We saw miracles, we baptized, we worked, we had fun.

***************

I may have only had 4 companions.. but I can honestly say that I learned from each of them. Something different, absolutely. But they did affect my mission, and change me for the better. I have such a testimony that God loves us so much, He will always put those people we need in our life.

People will always come and go. There is a reason. We may not know why we meet or need certain people, but it is for something. Who knows, maybe we need to learn something from them. Or maybe, just maybe, they need to learn something from US.

 

 

Hermana Hamilton, Welcome Home

Hello, there.
Now, a few of you are probably wondering.. Court.. why in the world are you home??? Well, my friends, let me fill you in on this little tale. I had been out serving my mission in the beautiful country of Mexico. In the Distrito Federal to be exact. And it. was. WONDERFUL. But, when things are good and fine and dandy, we know that God puts trials in our way. Life is all about those learning experiences. So, I arrived in Mexico on the 16th of December of 2013. On the 17th, I started to get headaches. Nothing super weird, pretty normal now. But with time, I started having trouble with my eyesight. Then things started getting worse. The headaches were more frequent, the vision loss, all with that. After 7 months, we just decided it was safer for me to come home and get medical treatment. I am currently visiting my doctors and getting the medical attention that I need.
The support from my family has been unreal through all of this. My first week home was hard. Trying to re-Americanize myself was difficult, but they have stuck by me every step of the way. Is it hard being home? The hardest. Not a day goes by where I don't wish I wasn't in my little Mexico, walking the streets with my companion. But I know God has a plan. I know that I am home for a reason. It's all going to be okay. It's going to be alright.

Yup. It was a good week. 6/30/14

Hello, hello, hello! Hi, how are ya!

Me? Im great, thanks for asking! 

First off, Happy Fourth of July this week. We have members that are going to try to make Root Beer (super hard to find here) floats for Elder Foutz and I because we are SO sad to miss this holiday!! Second, I totes am going to hit 8 months on my mission this Sunday. Thats not weird or anything... in reality its totally freaking me out. Time flies so so so fast.

This week, I took the responsibility to write down some things that I knew I should share. SO. Here it goes:

Elder Chavez has become one of my closest friends here in Mexico. Really. He always backs me up, and we do an awesome job team teaching for Family Home Evenings in English and Spanish. (We teach a lot in English with some people) Everyone in our ward knows us as Brother and Sister in law. They think its hilarious. We are just way too good of friends. So, love him too death.

Next, This last week, Hermana Gomez has learned my love for knocking doors. Really, its a rule to NOT do it, unless directed by the Spirit... but I do it for fun. I LOVE IT. Its so much more effective than contacting in the street. By knocking doors, we found a new investigator. Her name is Bertha. Her daughter in law has been talking to missionaries in Cuatepec and keeps saying how great they are and that Bertha should listen to them, too. Then.. we knocked on her door, looking for someone else. Its a constant thing. I have turned into a PRO with that. 

We had interviews with President this week. I cant tell you how much I love him. Really. He just listens so well. We went in with Hermana Hall first. She and I just chatted for EVER. She looked at my area book and was thrilled. She said it was just like Hermana Garzons book, and that we were the best duo. I just laughed. Then I went in with President. We talked about training, how I felt, things like that. By the end, he was crying saying he could never be more proud of me. He thought I would have been home months ago for health reasons, but I just kept going. Its nice to know that he really does have faith in me after alllll the problems I have had. 

I cannot tell you how HARD Satan works when you have a baptism. When you are working SO hard with a family, and everything starts to go wrong. Everything. This Saturday was our baptism of Daniela and Alejandra. Two sisters. Their mom, Bety, is inactive of 16 years and their dad is an alcoholic Catholic. They love us. Always do. We were the first sister missionaries they had ever met, so they were super duper excited to have us in their house. Thursday, Hermana Gomez and I went to their house to eat Cena with them. The dad was DRUNK. Hard core. And he is pretty funny when he is drunk.. but drunk none the less. We showed up and he was fighting with Daniela. We could hear everything that was happening and it wasnt pretty. SO. Dani got kicked out of the house, the dad was mad because the Elders werent with us. He was drunk. I got scared. Called Foutz and told them to get their butts to their house. They ran in the pouring rain. Did I mention I love them? In this time, Edgar, the dad told us that the girls werent going to get baptized. He said they werent good enough for a baptism. Sooo I didnt know what to do. Thankfully, the elders showed up and helped us out. We still werent sure if we were going to have the baptism or not. So we left the house, in pouring rain, and I started bawling my eyes out. I just cried and cried and cried. We have been working SO hard and the date fell. Two days before the baptism. Poor Foutz, he was the only one that saw me cry, and he had no clue what to do. I lost it. So Friday came, we went and cleaned the font. At four, we went and did the interview for Dani, still not knowing if she would get baptized. Saturday came, and all was well. Bety was thrilled, the girls had less fear, and we were good to go. We started filling the pila.. and what happens? There is no water. We figure out how to get it to work, and when it starts coming out.. its black. I cried, YET AGAIN. We got it all figured out, all was well, we had clean water. So then we went to comida... Bishop called us and told us Dani wouldnt be getting baptized. WHAT!!! We didnt understand what happened! So we ran to a bus, got to their house, ran ran ran. All to find out that Dani had a ..girl problem. Aaaare ya kidding me. We talked to her. Asked if she still wanted to get baptized.. told us yes! So, it was a go. At 7:30, everyone from the ward was there. The girls were ready. President came. We had a baptism. And it was beautiful. As soon as Ale came out of the water, she turned to us and said I FEEL SO COOL! We just laughed and hugged and cried. We worked so hard to see them in white, in the water. The next day in Sacrament, they were their in their dresses, with their Personal Progress and Faith in God, their Books of Mormom, ready to receive the Holy Ghost. When they got called to the stand, they just stood up front and smiled and waved at us. I will never be able to describe the happiness I felt just to see them there. Happy. Adorable. Even though everything that COULD have gone wrong with this baptism, went wrong.. it was perfect. I will never forget it. 

Youre going to die at this. If I am still here in Vallejo in November, I am singing a duo in English with a member, Nancy, during stake conference. WHAT. We are singing I Know That My Reedemer Lives and its actually super good. So. To all of you that laughed at me when I sang. Im actually better now. Thats what singing everyday does to you.

All in all, I love you guys a lot. Im so grateful for your support and for your words of jokes and loves always. I love this mission. Its been SO much fun. Hermana Gomez and I are having a blast together. I will send pictures in just a minute. 

Remember I love love love you all and that I love love love this gospel. Sending hugs and kisses and loves from Mexico!

Hermana Hamilton

The Mean Machine 6/23/14

Because we are that cool, we have come up with a group name. Im pretty sure I cant describe how much I just LOVE my little ward companions. Hermana Gomez and I now share a ward with Elder Chavez from Aguascalientes and Elder Foutz from Idaho. This last week has been one of the most fun of my entire mission! Our bishop calls me the Zone Leader now because Im the only one who has time here in the ward. He says Im the boss. I dont argue with that. We all know I love to be in charge!

SO. Quick shout out to my comp. I just love Hermana Gomez. Its been so fun to be with someone my own age who is SO funny. Really. And she thinks Im hilarious. So thats a plus. Our ward is in love with us. Really. Everyone is always asking us to come and hang out or come do a family home evening with them. Its been so nice to be in a ward like this. We are making incredible improvements here in this ward. 

Yesterday was something really special for us. We were practicing for choir, just waiting for sacrament to start. And then in walked an inactive. Of a LONG time. Her name is Sara Luna. She is a returned missionary, but had problems with sisters in the ward for a long time. And yesterday was the first time she has returned to church in years. YEARS. I cried. We have been working with her since Mothers day. I cried to see her there and have her sit with us. As a group, we had 21 people in the chapel. It was something beautiful!

This Saturday, Im going to have my first baptism. With my two little girls, Dani and Ale! I couldnt be more excited! They are tooooo dang cute and so ready! Pics to come next week. 

Thanks for keeping me updated on everything at home. Really. Its nice to stay in the loop. It sounds like everything is going well! I am praying for you all, ALWAYS. I always keep you in my thoughts and prayers. Thanks for your support and works of wisdom every week! 

Hermana Hamilton

Vallejo 2

Ah, the mission. 6/16/14

Hello, one and all! How are ya? Great, Im sure.

Hermana Gomez and I have lived our first week together and we didnt die. So I am counting that as a successful week. We have 3 baptisms coming up. On the 28th, Dani and Ale are getting baptized. They are my FAVORITE people. So adorable, these little girls. They are so excited for their baptism. Dani, the 12 year old, has a lot of worries about the water and all that, but we are working with her, little by little, to overcome her fear. Ale is super excited. She wants to serve a mission when she gets older. She always loves to use my nametag. Its adorable. Pictures in a minute. Ramon is getting baptized on the 5th. He and his wife came with us to stake conference yesterday, and they LOVED it. Our ward is doing everything possible to help us right now. They are really involved in the work. They love to go out and work with us alllllll the time. Our bishop is the coolest. He pulled me aside again the other day to tell me they havent had a sister missionary like me yet. He is so excited for all the work that we are doing. AND he thinks Im funny. Winner, Winner, chicken dinner. 

With this being our first week together, Im starting to teach Hermana Gomez how to teach. And Im not saying I know everything. Thats far from the truth. Together, we are learning a lot. But when we are in a lesson, or doing practices, and she uses one of my examples? I get so excited. My confidence has grown SO much here in the mission. I am completely different than I was at home. Yes, I still burp and spit like a man like I did at home, and Im not afraid to tell someone what Im thinking (you know me.. direct), but I have become more of an adult. I actually think before I speak or act. It seems to work out nicely. 

I hit 6 months here in Mexico, today. I have 7 and a half months in my mission. Im sorry, but where did time go?? With all of the problems I have had here, time has FLOWN by. I dont want it to go by so fast. Im trying to enjoy it and do all I can while I have this time. Vallejo is going to grow. We are going to do serious work here. With the elders, we have 15 baptisms in June and July planned. Bishop AND President promised to buy us dinner in any resturant that we want after we hit this goal. I am so stoked.

All in all, the mission is great. My comp is adorable. My area is fabulous. Our members love us. Our investigators are getting baptized.. I cant think of anything better. I love you all, I love this gospel, and I love being a missionary.

Les amo con todo mi corazon,

Hermana Hamilton

Not a ton of time, I dreamed a dream, and I'm a mom? 6/9/14

First and foremost.

Hermana Rodriguez has been transferred to the other side of the mission.. We definitely had our cry fest this weekend. We were with our mission leader and bishop eating tacos when the call came. And now.. IM TRAINING. I am still in my little Vallejo, but I have received a newby! Her name is Hermana Gomez. She is 19 and from Veracruz. When we showed up at Presidents house, they told us to partner up and go contact in the street. WE WERE PARTNERS. I knew we were going to be comps. I just hope I can make her proud and really help her. I want to be a trainer like Garzon was for me.

So. This week has been the week of dreams. We have had dreams from the families we are going to find, that we have FOUND, our investigators are dreaming about how the world is so rough and big and bad.. and how the church will help them. Our members are dreaming about everything we are doing. Rodriguez had a dream about a family we need to help.. and they NEED help. Its crazy.

We put 2 more dates for baptisms yesterday. Dani, who is 12, and Alejandra, who is 8. They are my lovely little ninas that I just adore. Ramon has a baptism in about 2 weeks. We found a family that used to assist, but quit going. And now the mom wants her kids to be baptized. The elders found 3 families we are going to teach.. the work is moving. We are doing incredible things here in Vallejo. 

I remember 6 weeks ago when I showed up and hated this area more than anything. Now? I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE. I love my little Vallejo. I love my members. I love this work that I get the chance to do. This time in Mexico has taught me a lot. Who I am, who I want to be, the things I want to do. I am learning more than you would imagine. I wouldnt give up this opportunity for anything. ANYTHING. I have seen my fair share of trials here in the mission. Things that I never thought I would see or experience. But I have grown SO much in these last 7 months, than any other time in my life. ANY OTHER TIME.

I love you all. Remember than. But more importantly, remember that you have a loving Heavenly Father who is ALWAYS listening. Always worried for you. You, PERSONALLY. In times of stress, sadness, times when I feel no one understands, I remember my favorite primary song:

1. Heavenly Father, are you really there?
   And do you hear and answer ev'ry child's prayer?
   Some say that heaven is far away,
   But I feel it close around me as I pray.

   Heavenly Father, I remember now

   Something that Jesus told disciples long ago:

   "Suffer the children to come to me."

   Father, in prayer I'm coming now to thee.
2. 2. Pray, he is there;
   Speak, he is list'ning.
   You are his child;
   His love now surrounds you.
   He hears your prayer;
   He loves the children.
   Of such is the kingdom, the kingdom of heav'n.

He loves us. He knows us. He is listening. I love you all, I love this work, I am so grateful for this time I have to be a missionary of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.

Hugs, Kisses, Loves,

Hermana Hamilton

Hijole 5/26/14

Basically. Ijole is the only word I can use for this week. Not because it was a bad week or anything like that! It was pretty good acutally!

SO. First things first, so good to hear from you all every week. Really. Love you all SO much! 

On Tuesday, I had divisions with Hermana Moss. I just love doing divisions with Americans. I feel like I rely so much more on the Spirit, and my spanish is SO much better! ..It has to be.. haha. So we went out, and we did work. We had so many appointments, new investigators and families, all that jazz. I was basically senior comp the whole time. Started all the lessons, did all I could. It was pretty dang cool. Wednesday was Hermana Rodriguezs birthday. We were so happy to be back together. Really. She is such a good missionary, and an even better companion. I love love love her! We are always laughing. So we had Family Home Evening with our ward on Wednesday, and one member brought Churros for us... HOW MUCH DO I LOVE CHURROS THE ANSWER IS SO MUCH. Really, it was a beautiful thing. Then the elders took us out for Tortas at like 11 at night. That was a party! 

Thursday, I was really sick. I have had la gripe for EVER it feels like, and Thursday, my head started getting really really bad. But, ya know. We went and worked. President called me like three times that day to check in on me. Grateful for him and all he does. Friday, we got to go to the new Benemerito on the other side of the mission. We got to take a few of the students our and teach them how to contact. THAT was fun! Our little companionship that we had, just rocked it. Contacted un buen de personas! We were heading back to the school.. and a druggie contacted US. He was sniffing some weird liquid stuff and started talking to us. SO we gave him a pamphlet. He used my bible to show us some scriptures.. it was cool. Kinda freaky, but cool at the same time.

We got a new ward mission leader. He served in Indiana, so he knows English. And he LOVES hermana Rodriguez and I, so we know that we have a ton of support from him. My head was bad Saturday, so I was sleeping in the chapel as choir practice was going on. Because yes.. we do choir every week. Thats not awkward for me at ALL. Hashtag best singer on the planet. 

BUT. The story of the week! So we have an investigator named Ramon. He has come to church 3 times, and LOVES it. We have only ever taught him one lesson, and it was HORRIBLE. But he loved it!!!  So he came to church yesterday, and bishop started talking to him. Next thing we know, bishop pulls us out of the chapel with Ramon, tells us he has a baptismal date in two weeks and that we are to prepare him. WHAT. Way to go, bishop! Holy hannah, he is so great! So, Ramon now has a fecha. Daniela and Alejandra, our little girls, both will be baptized in about three weeks, and we have so many people we are working with. The work is really progressing here for us. Our members are really trying to get involved and help us out. Its really been nice. And our bishop supports us like crazy!

I really do love this area. As many problems as I have had, I love this work. There have been days where I didnt feel like I could even leave the house, but I do. And I know that the Lord is standing right beside me. He is helping me all along the way. I couldnt be more grateful. The mission is hard. There are bad days, there are slow days, but then there are days that are perfect. Beautiful. Where we just rock it, and we KNOW we are making a difference. I love this obra. I love this gospel. I love being a missionary. 

Until next week!

Hermana Hami

Court

Shortney

Cracker

Guera

5/19/14

Hi fam! How the heck are ya!

We are currently doing laundry right now, so I thought I would take the time to write you all! So smart, I know. 

Headache status - The same. Still getting headaches, but its normal now. So its okay. I try and take a nap every day and it seems to help a bit. BUT I have LA GRIPE right now. Which is basically more than a cold but less than the flu. Its the most common thing here. So I feel super sick. Sore throat, more of a headache, runny nose, fever. Everyone here gets it because of the crazy change of weather every day. All is well. Im going home to sleep after this.

I learned something this last week. Monday was a really hard day for me. I didnt want to do anything, I literally just wanted to go home. I was frustrated and tired and sick. We were having issues with the elders in our ward, and it was just a mess. Hermana Rodriguez was super frustrated with everything, too. We were DONE. 

Tuesday came and we had to wake up at about 5:30 to get ready for our Junta with the zone. We got there and I was still in a super bad mood. Jaclyn (Hermana Condie.. we keep getting in trouble for using our first names together.. hahaha we are so cool.) Anywho, Jac saw that I was in a not great mood so she was trying to help me out. We had to sign a contract of obedience. President is going to start sending people home. This mission has a history of disobedience. It all started about two years ago, when my mission leader here in Vallejo, Aldo, was serving his mission here. The old president had a problem with latinos and told them that they might as well be Gadianton Robbers. So Aldo stood up, yelled, and started the Gadiantons. Its a real thing.. they have pins and all.. They still worked, but were just disobedient. Almost all of the Gadiantons have gone home, but there a few still here that will die off in the next two transfers. After the Gadiantons, there was a group called La Banda. It was just the new missionaries that werent old enough to be Gadiantons, but were still disobedient. They will all die out in December. There are no sisters IN La Banda, but there are honarary people. Its all so ridiculous, but thats why we have so many problems here. ANYWHO. Contract. We all had to sign it. And we were all SO mad. This contract was super intense. The Americans were all realllly frustrated. The Latinos didnt care.

So we left, and Hermana Rodriguez and I went to work. I was basically in tears all of Tuesday from being so frustrated. We worked and worked and worked, and NOTHING came from it. By the end of the night, we were done. We ended up contacting ALL day long. It was super long. 

I know this sounds like Im just complaining.. but wait! Theres more!

So we went out to work Wednesday. And when I say work, I mean WORK. We did everything we possibly could to have success. We had the most lessons we had ever had in a day. We found new investigators. One of them being Bertha Reseñdis. She is basically the investigator of GOLD. She asks us everything. We have seen her about 5 times in the last week, and she loves us. She thinks this mission thing we are doing is so cool! We have given her a Book of Mormon, taught her about the Word of Wisdom, and she just wants to learn more and more! Her daughter Nayeli is the exact same! We are so blessed to have them! The kicker.. they live in the area of the elders.. But we arent telling Cifuentes that. Graham knows and he is okay with it. If Cifuentes knew.. YIKES. He would kill us. 

So what is the point of all these lovely English words I have typed? I have learned that my attitude determines ALL. If we leave the house with a -Why am I here? attitude.. we dont see anything of success. I have learned how to change my thoughts and actions and really work because I WANT to and because I NEED to. Its only taken me 6 months to figure that out.. thats fine. But we have it down now. We know what we have to do if we want to see success. 

So my bishop here in Vallejo pulled me aside yesterday to see how I was doing. Whether or not I was feeling comfortable here in the ward. We talked and talked and he looked at me and said he doesnt remember the last time they had someone in this ward who just wanted to work. Rodriguez and I are building up this area, just like we did in Bene. We find new people to teach every day. We have investigators in the chapel. EVERY SUNDAY. Our members are finally understanding the importance of working with us. I told the bishop about a capacitation that I want to do in every class. He is so pumped about it. He loves us SO much and is doing so much to take care of us. The elders drive us nuts, so we dont tell them any of our plans. They like to take credit for everything. Triste elderes..

ANYWHO. There is my email that is kind of a mess of a million different things, but my head is pounding and Im falling asleep as I type. Plus our laundry is almost done. But I want to leave you all with a scripture that has really helped Hermana Rodriguez and I this week. 

Every time we study the Book of Mormon, we just get PLANCHED. Something hits us and we know that we need to change. Whether its work harder or repent more. We have to improve. So we found a verse in Alma 26:27 and it says :Now when our hearts were depressed, and we were about to turn back, behold, the Lord comforted us, and said: Go amongst thy brethren, the Lamanites, and bear with patience thine afflictions, and I will give unto you success.

Its going to be hard sometimes, real life, the mission, school, friends, work, everything. You will pass for difficulties. But here is the beauty of it all. HE will be there to comfort you. To lend you a hand. To lead you to something better. If we do what he has asked, HOW he has asked, he will bless us. We will have success. He loves us. I know that I have a Father in Heaven that knows me perfectly. He knows when I struggle and I really dont want to be here. He is ALWYAS there to help me. Whether through the scriptures, through a day without headaches, through the jokes that my compa and I have. SOMETHING.

I love this gospel. I will testify of my Father in Heaven and Elder Brother my entire life. They have given me everything. Im so blessed for this chance to be a missionary and to preach the gospel of Jesus Christ to the people of Mexico. 

I love you, The church is true, The book is blue.

Love,

Hermana Hamilton

Hermana Hami

Chamilton

La cracker

This is awkward.. 5/12/14

We just talked like two days ago.. so I feel this is a little awkward right now!

Hi hi, fam and friends! How are all of you doing? Good from what I know of your emails and letters! Speaking of letters.. half of the sisters of Arbolillo wrote me this week with pictures and notes saying they miss having me in the zone! How much do I miss my little tree-lovers!

What more can I say about the mission.. some days are ridiculous and crazy and we are running from place to place. Other days, there is no one to talk to or teach. We are struggling right now to work with the members like we should be. We are trying everything we can. People love the elders. Love love love them. So its harder for us to get their trust. There was a sister here a few transfers ago that wasnt really the best and so the ward doesnt enjoy sisters. We are trying to change that! Its just super hard! Sometimes I feel like we are just in Bene all over agian from my first transfer. We started with NOTHING. So its building and building and building. Lots of contacting, lots of getting shut down. Welcome to the mission!!

Not much to say after video chat.. awkward. But know that the work is progressing here in Mexico. We as a mission are inviting everyone we can to come unto Christ. That is our purpose. Its hard some days. Really. Some days, ya just wanna curl up and cry! But thats when you get on your knees and you pray. Pray for help, guidance, for the people to understand the message you have to share.

You all know me, how much I love sugar and especially the pan here in Mexico.. SOOOO I contacted a guy who sells CHURROS. We have given him a Gospel of Jesus Christ pamphlet, and a Restoration. He loves what we have to say. His name is Enrique and he just adores us. He is having really bad family problems right now, and has been praying to God to send him a helping hand or something.. and later.. he met us! He says we have been an answer to his prayers. It makes me so happy! We have another appointment with him this Friday. He knows the bible like crazy, so Hermana Rodriguez told me that he is my investigator. I know the scriptures we need to teach him and she is lost in all this. So Im super pumped to take the lead. 

I am definitely seeing challenges for being here in this area. President has so much faith that this ward can become something amazing.. no pressure. We are starting from scratch. The elders are too. God is pushing us to new limits. Its hard. Really. But, like I said Saturday.. I love it. I love the challenges, I love all that Im learning. I can see the lords hand in my life EVERY DAY. Its beautiful. 

The church is true. I will never doubt that. I am so blessed to have this chance to share this amazing gift that I have in my life. 

I love you all. I miss you. Thank you for all that you do for me!

PS.. Less than a year and we will be partying in Syracuse ALL over again.. Prepare yourselves. ;)

Hermana Hami

Transfers.. Cambios.. A new start! 4/28/14

Hi hi, fam! How are you all doing?? We are emailing early today because we have to be to Linda Vista at 1 for transfers.

Yes, transfers, the dreaded word! Saturday night, we got a call from Elder Cruz and Elder Moulton. So you all know, this ENTIRE transfer I had a feeling I was getting moved to Linda Vista, the stake. But we had no clue what was going to happen. The elders called, and first told Hermana Garzon she will be staying in Benemerito. AND she will be training another greenie! We are pretty sure its another Americana, so she is freaking out just a little bit. Then they passed the phone to me.. I am being transfered to the ward Vallejo 2 in Linda Vista! I am nervous, excited, and have no clue what to expect! My new companion will be Hermana Rodriguez. If she is the missionary I am thinking of, she is from Tijuanna (or however you spell it), she is from Garzons generation. Thats about it! We will be together in just a few hours! Packing up my stuff was really hard.. I dont know how I accumulated so much in just a few months! This weekend has been really hard for Hermana Garzon and I. We are not ready to be split. It doesnt feel like we have been together three months. You could say its been a weekend of tears. She has taught me everything that I know, and I couldnt be more grateful for her. 

Health wise, I am doing better this week. My headaches are still pretty frequent, but not nearly as hard as they have been. So thats improvement! President still is calling to check on me every few days, and Hermana Hall is looking into more oils and things that we might be able to get here. They are so great. I couldnt ask for a better President. 

OKAY! Experiences of the week.

Last week, we were going to see a less active, Salvador. He had to go run to the store, so we were waiting outside his house. We were out with a joven from the ward, Kevin. He is putting his papers in soon, so he likes to work with us. We decided to go and contact on the carterra for a minute. See if we could meet anyone. So Garzon contacted a guy named Juan Carlos. He was super interested! We set an appointment, and that was that. Saturday came and we went to see him. We taught the Restoration, which we all know is my FAVORITE lesson. He had been taught by elders before, but never was asked to baptism or anything! We asked if he had had any doubts at the beginning. He said he wasnt sure about the whole prophet thing. We taught the lesson all the way up to Joseph Smith and the first vision. When we finished, he looked me square in the eye, saying -I believe. I believe he saw the Father and the Son. I understand it. There is absolutely no doubt in my mind that Joseph Smith is a prophet. You are so sincere. I know you believe it. I know its true.- That was a moment for me, I dont think I will ever forget. We invited him to be baptized, and he said yes immediately. When people accept what we teach.. Its the most incredible feeling in the world. 

I spoke in sacrament meeting yesterday.. it was intense. You guys know me.. I do better when I dont prepare I talk. I can just stand up and GO. So thats what I did! And I dont know how the Spirit does it, but I was speaking for 8 minutes, fluent spanish, and teaching. It was so cool!

I said goodbye to my investigators and members yesterday... wow. You will never know the sadness of a missionary until you leave your first area and all the people you are working with. We have 6 baptism dates that I will be missing. Thats really hard. I said goodbye to Carlor, and investigator that we just LOVE. He has terminal cancer, so when I said goodbye to him last night, we just cried and cried. He said its different when Garzon is with someone else. He will keep listening to the message we share, but he needs time to adjust to the new girl. #heartclencher I said goodbye to Gaby. My 16 year old that is getting baptized in 2 weeks. I know I have made an impact for her. She likes the same weird punk music I like, and she is a little different. But we are great friends. Her dad doesnt want anything to do with the church, but he said that by the friendship I have with his daughter, he can see that the church really is for any kind of person. That even if she likes different things, she will be accepted. Her dad hugged me yesterday, which is SUPER against the rules. And he knows it. His response -Im not part of your religion. This rule doesnt apply to me.- Well.. esta bien! 

I love this work. I really do. Spanish is coming along, slowly but surely. I am learning patience with myself. Some days are hard and you are tired, but thats when you work the hardest. I have seen beautiful things happen in the field. I have felt the Spirit testify to me that this work really is the work of God. I love you all, and I hope you can all learn for yourselves of the truthfulness of this amazing gospel. I cant imagine my life without this church and without the knowledge that I have of Christ, eternal families, and the importance of priesthood and prayer.

Stay safe. Read your scriptures. And Remember that I love you.

Hermana Courtney Lyn Hamilton

Family and Friends 4/14/14

Why yes. I am still alive. I know. You probably all thought I was dead, or something. Im not!

First, you all should know that my BFF Britt just got called to serve in Argentina. Please, send her some love. PLEASE. I am so happy for her! To see that I have SO many friends with the desire to serve makes me so happy and grateful for them all!

And birthday shout out to Grandma!! So sorry I wasnt there, but just know I LOVE you and was thinking about you all day long! I hope your day was beautiful, fabulous, and everything in between!

Forgive me for my attitude these last few weeks. The mission is hard. I wont lie. There are a lot of times when I think, what in the world am I even doing here. Why am I not at home. Satan works at you HARD. Especially with my head. I am still getting migraines a lot. (Definitely not a food or glasses thing.) My poor comp has put up with SO much from me these last few weeks. But she is so patient and always has SO much love for me. I couldnt ask for a better compa. President has had about 3 interviews with me, telling me I am going home. But I always pull through, and I know that God helps me. I know that even when it hurts and I am exhausted and my head is POUNDING, He is helping me. He pushes me those extra 10 steps. He helps me to speak in a language that I still dont like. Or eat the last little bit of food that is really not great. You guys dont get it.. the food is SO hard. SO HARD. BUT. We totally had Panda Express yesterday. Not as good, but pretty dang close. Tender mercies. Literal tender mercies from the Lord.

Hermana Garzon and I are really sad to know that we will be getting split in the next cambio. We arent ready to be done. We have decided we want to finish our missions together in a year. (Yes, I still lack a year. WOW.) She is the best companion. She has taught me everything I know. She thinks I am ready to train.. we will see about that. We have decided our work here in Benemerito wasnt to baptize everyone. It was to plant the seed. To start the work. We have had over 100 new investigators in 3 months. This is almost unheard of. Yes, like none are progressing, but we have kept in contact with all of them. They are all ready. Just waiting for the right missionaries. And we are okay with being the start. We know weve helped more than one of them. 

We bore our testimonies in church with our ward mission leader yesterday. The ward doesnt want us to split either. To know that I can bear my testimony without problem is so amazing to see. I remember my second week here when Obispo Cates made me bear my testimony, and I knew NOTHING. Now? I can walk the streets and talk to almost ANYONE. God blesses us. I know I say I dont feel like Im improving. But really. He blesses his missionaries. 

This church is true. I know it. I know it I know it I KNOW IT. Every time we share the Restoration, or someone tells us there experiences, or even when the members just hug us and tell us they love us.. I can feel the Saviors love here. Mexico is a special place. I love it here. Its dirty, there are dogs in the street, drunks everywhere, but I love it. I have never felt so safe, so loved, and so prepared. This gospel can do amazing things for us. Each and everyone. 

I love you all. Thank you for everything you have done and are doing. Please stay safe and stay healthy (mom). I love you all. I love this gospel. I love this time I have to be a missionary. In Ether, it talks about our faith. And the trials we face. I encourage you all to read Ether 12 and take something from it that will help you. Keep strong and remember you have an Hermana here in Mexico that prays for you constantly. 

Love,

Su Hija y Hermana 

Hermana Courtney Lyn Hamilton

Welp 3/24/14

This week. What can I say about this week. This week... was not my finest. Really. First, lets start with the headaches. Who has been having migraines again? ME! Love it OH so much. ...thats a joke.. its actually really not fun. We have 60 investigators. Literally 60. That is unheard of in an area as small as this! Here is the kicker.. no one is progressing. This week has been really rough for Hermana Garzon and I. Our relationship is fine, and we never want to get split. (I am pretty sure Im leaving after this transfer. Moment of heart wrenching sadness) I had about 5 people email this week telling me about how much they are struggling and just need a friend. And all I can do is email. You guys know me. Im ALWAYS there for everyone and their dog. So this is hard. Satan is really trying me this week. My mission leader just told me he loved me yesterday and hasnt seen a companionship like Garzon and I since his mission. So that was reassuring and I just started crying. I have been doing SO good about not crying here. But I just lost it at that.

The mission is hard. And there are a lot of days that I just want to go home. Really Just want to leave. But again and again, God gives me a reason to stay.

Super tender mercy from the lord this week. We went to dinner at a members house and one of the family members told us to go upstairs. Hermana Hernandez (my bff here in the mission that went home) her dad came to visit, her fam is my ward, so her dad totes brought me a ton of american food. i started crying my eyes out. it was SO great. Treats for Garzon and I! how much do i love friends! haha

Ether 12:6. Its the verse I want to share with you guys. President keeps telling me to really study it and learn it. Its the verse that keeps me going right now.

I love you all. SO so so so much. I am so grateful for you all every day.

Hugs, Loves, Kisses
Hermana Hamilton

Transfers 3/17/14

Hermana Hamilton.. You are being transfered to..

Benemerito. With Hermana Garzon. For another transfer.

Im going to have 4 and a half months in this area after this transfer. Holy cow! Yup, Hermana Garzon and I are together yet again! WOO! We are so happy. We are so scared that we were going to get split up. But, have no fear, WE ARE STILL TOGETHER! Our ward is SO happy. They just love us SO much. Really. I never want to leave my cute little Bene. EVER. 

Okay. Last Tuesday. We had a lesson with 5 investigators. We taught with Bishop Cates, in the chapel, about the Plan of Salvation. HOLY SPIRIT. They all accepted baptismal dates and all came to church on Sunday!! (They have to come 5 times before a baptism) Ready for the kicker? They dont live in our area. They live in the ward NEXT to us. Literally 2 streets out of our area. We cried. We can teach them once more, and they can come to our ward once more. Then they have to go to Gabriela Mistral. I cried so hard. We love them so much. We are going to do all we can to make sure they stick with their date in Gabriela. 

Wednesday, we had a lesson with our investigator, Ivan. I. Love. Him. He is 27 years old. From Chiapas. And just moved here. He has gone to church 3 times. (I have yet to see him there. He went to Arbolillo 1, then the week I was in the hospital with Reynolds.) He is on the fence about baptism. Really, he is ready. He just wants to be ready. We taught him about faith this week. We were going to teach all of the Evangelio de Jesucristo, but I stopped it. I had a weird impression to just bear my testimony and tell him about my experience in the church. So. Started bawling my eyes out. After, HE started crying. When we left, Hermana Garzon turned to me and said, -You better thank the Lord tonight. Your spanish was BEAUTIFUL and your accent was perfect. I dont know how it happened. -

...so thats cool and all. Really. I think its because I love him so much and just can picture him in white! 

Guys. The mission is NUTS. Things happen everyday that just make me question why I am here. Why am I serving in this country, with a Columbian as my companion, where I dont eat the food. Then God turns me around to see all that I have done. 

Im hard on myself. Probably too hard. Hmm.. wonder where I got that from.. *cough cough* MOM. I am your daughter. But really. I am hard. I want to be perfect. I want to make a difference. I want to work. My head still hurts constantly and Garzon asks if I need to sleep or lay down. I just say no, and we go back to work. Its the mission. Its the life I chose for a year and a half. 

He loves us. He loves us more than we will ever know. My Savior loves ME. We have new Americans coming. I dont think they will ever understand how lucky they are that they are coming NOW. We came with only Latino sisters in the mission. It was hard. But we are making it easier for the new girls. We know what its like to be alone. 

I love this gospel. I will say it every week. I LOVE THIS GOSPEL. I love my Savior. I love my Heavenly Father. I cant imagine my life without it. I am so excited to be with my family FOREVER. I kinda like you guys a lot. 

Be safe. Be smart. Remember that I love you more than anything.

Hermana Hamilton

3/3/14

Okay i have 25 minutes to write. I have been in the hospital for 4 days with another sister because she got robbed and they cracked a vertabre in her back, so she was leaking spinal fluid into her blood. all is well and she is out! i am back with my comp!!! she struggled with out me, just as i struggled without her. I am so glad to be back with her. we are togetehr for another transfer. had an interview with pres and he told me. HOLLA. apparently, my first comp hated me and is spreading rumors about me. doesnt matter! garzon and i are kicking trash right now!

so i lost it when you sent me pics of kel. i love him and am so so so so so proud of him. please send all my love to EVERYONE. 

life is rough without glasses. jsut throwin that out there. and i think i am dying my hair next week. we will see. 

I love the mission. something new happens every single day. EVERY DAY. i love you all and I miss you more than anything. remember to stay strong, remember who you are, and that you have a savior that loves you more than you know. 

Hugs Kisses Loves

Hermana Hamilton

Disculpeme. This week is already NUTS!

Another one bites the dust 2/24/14

Okay, I am referring to the week. Another one down. And I have absolutely no clue where it went. The weeks pass by SO fast here. I hit my 4 month mark next week. How crazy is that? Sometimes, it feels like an eternity here. But by the morning, I realize its been another week and Im still alive. HALLELUAH.

So I have never really fasted before. Really, EVER. But last week, we did. We needed work here in little Bene. I know its probably hard to imagine.. but really. Four streets by four streets is nuts. We just dont have much room to do anything. So we fasted. And it wasnt super hard. I fasted for a few different things, and did Hna Garzon, and together we fasted for help in this area. And what do you know? We have 20 new investigators!!! And we have baptismal dates!!!!!! I am so happy right now!!

Going to talk my compa up for a minute. We had a total moment the other night. We were talking about our investigators, and she looked at me and said, -Hermana... I dont want to leave Bene. We need to stay together for another transfer. Youre the best companion Ive had yet.- Aww!!! Really. We are such good friends. But it hasnt affected our work. When you become close with someone here, you start to get distracted. It becomes okay to be disobedient. But with our friendship, we have just become stronger in our work. We were up until midnight last night talking about how we can be more obedient. Its a great thing! We went to Chedraui today to buy food... probably one of the best parts of the week ALWAYS. Oh.. ps.. can you make sure I have money on my card still? I use it when we buy food. A lot easier and it helps me out for the month with the money we have. 

My head is getting so much better! I only had one migraine this week and a few small headaches. So thats good. Progress, right?? We left an appointment at 9:45 last night and still had to walk home, so I called President Hall. Its a rule to call after 9 if youre still in the streets. (We have to be home by 9 every night unless we have a lesson.) So I called him, and we were talking. He started speaking in Spanish to me, and went on to tell me that someone in my ward called him about me.. So of course, I started flipping out. OH President, I didnt do anything!! Im sorry! What did I do?! And he went on to tell me that this person said they dont know how its possible, but my spanish has increased tremendously in the past 3 weeks. They said its a miracle. My heart just swelled. I cant see the improvement, but when the people Im around do, it means so much to me. 

Christ lives. I know it with every part of my being. I know that He died for ME. Every time we read Luke 22:41-44, My testimony grows. Every time we teach the atonement, my heart rejoices because I have a Savior who lived and died for ME. ME. How did we become so lucky? God loved us so much, He sent his Only Begotten. Its a miracle. I will testify until the days end that this work is the greatest thing we could do. I get to invite others to come unto their Lord, Jesus Christ EVERY. DAY. When I tell people in the street that I am here for a year and a half to preach about Christ, they think Im crazy. But its so worth it. I know that God has a plan for us. I know that if we live right, I get to be with my family for ETERNITY. How many people can say that? I keep a family picture with me everywhere I go. I show everyone. 1. Everyone here thinks that we are all siblings. So.. Parents.. Way to go. Lookin good and lookin young! 2. Everyone says we are really white... I agree. 3. I know that every time I talk about my siblings, and how I want to be an example for them, the Spirit testifies that I am doing the best I can. 

I hope you are all well. I hope you are all taking time to read and pray. If anything.. pray. I know He listens and I know he wants to hear about what youre feeling and thinking. He cares. He always has, and He always will. I love you. I love this gospel. I love the peole. The food is still nasty, but vale la pena. Its worth it. 

Con mucho amor, siempre

Su hija, 

Hermana Hamilton

Hello from Bene! 2/17/14

So. Life is nuts here in Mexico currently. In the past three days, we have gotten into bible bashes with people. They all think we are nuts, then Hna. Garzon whips out her BEAUTIFUL bible, and throws it back. Such an adventure.We were in a trio for half of the week last week because Hna Hernandez was living with president. Saddest few days of my life here!! Chiste, chiste.. but seriously. So we were with her comp, who is TOTALLY dead in the mission. It was rough. Garzon was really frustrated. And of course, so was I. I have had so many people call me stupid this past week because I cant speak this language. THATS A KILLER.

Testimony builder of the week:

As we were walking down the street, we contacted a mom and her daughter. They were really interested, so we started teaching the Plan of Salvation. Always a good one. Half way through, they looked at me and called me stupid, then continued on to tell us that they were Catholic and didnt care. So we got up, and were kicked out. OUCH. As we were walking, I started to cry. No one wants to hear our message. We went to an appointment, and they werent home. SHOCKER. So, I cried some more. Just when I told Hna Garzon that I was done for the night and I wanted to go home, two kids started talking to us. They thought it was the COOLEST thing that I am from America to preach about my church. They asked why I was even in this church, and in the most broken Spanish, I bore my testimony of how much I love this gospel. Most spiritual building thing of the week. Just when we are broken down and want to quit, Christ builds us up. He wants to break us down so that He can show us how strong we are. I have learned so much about my Savior. I know that He knows all of my problems and all of my feelings. At times when I feel like Im not focused, or that I cant do this anymore, He shows me I can. And I have to give so much credit to my AMAZING companion. Im so serious. We had a talk last night and she said that when she heard I was going to be her comp, she was upset. She didnt want a stupid American. But now, she is the happiest. She said she hasnt gotten along with any of her other comps like me. We are BEST FRIENDS. Everyone calls us the Chaparitas, which means fiesty little ones basically. ITS DOPE. Haha, excuse my language. But really. SO fun.

Well.. Ive been here for two months. How is that possible?? I love it. I am still trying to find WHO I am here for. I know that there is someone that I am supposed to help. And even if the language is TERRIBLE, the food is gross, the streets are dirty, and the people are sketch, I love it. I never want to leave my little home here in Bene. Its perfect.

A quote from this week that Im just loving right now:

Peach the gospel at all times, and if necessary, use words. Remember to always be the best example you can. We tell our split member families that the example they set is the MOST important thing. Same for the missionaries. If we arent good examples for the new people, it will just cause problems.

Oh yeah!! Last thing!! Im not the baby anymore!! There are more American sisters here now!! The new one in our area is kinda a grouch.. but that will change. Poco a Poco!

Loves, Hugs, Kisses and more:

Your missionary in Mexico

Hermana Hamilton

CAMBIOS 2/3/14

So. The dreaded cambios are over. And let me tell you.. THEY WERE NUTS. We found out Sunday morning where everyone was going. EVERYONE IN OUR ZONE GOT MOVED. Literally, only one companionship stayed the same. Our zone leaders even got switched, which really doesnt happen. Its been an emotional weekend in Arbolillo. Seriously. I found out Friday, before anyone else that my ZL was moving. I cried in Chedraui. SO. SAD.

My new comp. is Sindi Garzon. She is from Colombia. 25 years old. Apparently, President thinks I need to grow up. Both my comps have been old. THANKS PRES. Really though, blessing. I learn a lot from them. 

Last week was the WEIRDEST week of my life. So Hna Alvarez was in the hospital Monday, Tuesday, and part Wednesday. I was so sad. I didnt really like the girl I was with. This week has been full of hospital trips, sleeping, shopping, crying, praying, eating, reading, and a little more praying. Probs a bit more crying, too. 

Im serious when I say the mission is hard. Its not being an adult and having to be smart about things and following rules. Thats the easy part. But when you cant speak the language and express to people how you feel? Thats when its hard. My heart breaks when I cant understand my members here. I never want to leave Benemerito. Ever. I have the best ward. 

Ive yet to see Jade. I talked to the secretary in the CCM and she said I can come whenever. I just have to call her. Im going to surprise Jade in class one day! Tell Jenn that it might take a while longer for him to email. Pdays are different in the CCM. I am excited to see him, though. Little slice of home! My members all keep saying, Oh your boyfriend your boyfriend!! And I just laugh and laugh and laugh. Oh, Jade. Im so pumped. 

How is life at home?? I want details! Whats new?' I keep hearing about my friends getting engaged.. so not okay. Everyone is getting married, and Im here in Mexico. Ohhhh Mexico. 

Really, not much to report. I love studying the BOM. Its the highlight of my day. That, or when I pray. I had learned how to really pray, and its one of the best times of the day. 

The scripture I want to share with you has been really important this week. 1 Nefi 15:8. When in times of doubt, ask the Lord. He knows all. And if the time is right, he will answer your prayers. Mine have already been answered. 

I love you all. Thanks so much for everything. Missing you all SO much!

Love, 

Hna Cracker Wuera Gringa White Girl Hamilton

Welp... 1/20/14

Nothing much to report this week. Serious.. pretty boring. I am on divisions right now with Hna Gonzalez, who I love! We played soccer for 5 hours with the elders, went to Walmart and got Chinese Food, and we get to have a sleepover tonight. HOLLER. So happy. She is from here in Mexico, and she is 19. Love her. I want to be comps on day.

My comp and I are butting heads a lot. She is DEAD right now. Killin me. Really, poor Benemerito, our ward, is dead. Nada is happening. We are trying so hard, but when you only have 4 streets by 4 streets to work with, it gets boring. We had interviews with the president last week. Holy cow, our mission is struggling. He said we were his favorite zone because we dont have drama.. Uh.. we have drama. Its hilarious. But our biggest issue is we all get sick. Literally, every single person has been so sick this week. So bad. And everyone is on divisions because we are all so sick of our comps. True love, here in Arbolillo! 

No news on the package. Hopefully tomorrow. The ZLs have to pick it up from the offices and bring it here once it gets here. So really..who knows. Headaches are better. Sometimes I get really short ones that totally knock me out and I cant walk for a minute. But other than that, IM GREAT! 

I am learning a lot about patience. Patience with my comp, with the food, with the stupid language. I can understand most, but I cant speak it. UGH. 

Not much to report this week, but I want to share a scripture. Alma 37 verse 37. Please read it. It has been on my mind all week. I love you all and I miss you more and more every day. Thank you for your love and prayers. 

Hermana Hamilton

P.S. DADDY!!! Happy late birthday!!!! I love you so so so so much and Im so sorry I couldnt be there!!! Hugs and Kisses from Mexico!

The Life of a Sister in Mexico 1/13/14

Really, I have a hilarious email I want to write.. but no time this week. Bear with me.

All is well. I am out of the hospital. My headaches were really bad. Nothing is wrong with my head, so thats good. I do have a cyst in my cheek and that is why I snore. I have had it my whole life I guess.. So weird. I am better. Head hurts a bit, but its a process to get better. 

SO. There are a few things that I have to say. Really just because I have learned to laugh at all the crazy stuff. It makes it a lot easier. 

1. Sometimes, you are going to pee your pants. Everyone does at one point. We just dont have time to go sometimes. Gross, I know. NAST.

2. Your companion gets food poisoning.. 3 times in one week. 

3. Showering out of a cold bucket gets normal. Have no fear, we have hot water again. WOO.

4. Random people whistle at you. Yes, makes you feel good. Then you realize they are drunk, so you run the other way. 

5. Everyone is tone deaf. Everyone.

6. You have a Come To Jesus meeting and tell yourself to grow up a bit.

7. The happiest moment is when your investigator walks into church in her sweats and tennis shoes.. but is there.

8. You will be famous around the mission because youre the only white girl to play soccer. And they will think youre amazing. 

9. Members who own ice cream shops and panderias give you free food! Same with churros!

10. When people try to speak English for you, you WILL cry because you love them so much.

11. You will have 3 families that treat you like their own. They are your mission Mamas. I love mine.

12. People always comment on your hair and eyes.

13. Little kids will think youre hilarious because you make ugly faces.

14. You are in the DF... Everyone hates the DF. 

15. Everyone tells you that you need to learn to like the food because your mexican husband will want it. 

16. MEXICANS DONT FLUSH TOILET PAPER:

Just my list of a few things Ive learned while being here. Mexico is gross. I am always dirty. I dont understand a lot. But every once in awhile, when someone hugs you or says they love you, it makes it all okay. Im so blessed to be here. I couldnt imagine NOT serving. My testimony of the Book Of Mormon has grown so much since day one. I highly encourage you all to read Moroni 10, verses 3 through 5. Pray about it. I know its true. I know that it is the reason I am here. People deserve to know about our Elder Brother and his life. I am so blessed to be serving in the place that the Book Of Mormon is about. 

I love you all. I love my Savior. I love this gospel. 

Hermana Courtney Lyn Hamilton

Or.. as my members call me.. Hammy!

So... don't freak out! 1/6/14

Funny story.. After last week, I totally lost sight in my right eye. Shocker, right? My body, freaking out? Yeah, its true. It happened again on Saturday, but worse. If it happens again, I have to go and see a neurologist because its totally all to do with my brain. Freakin out, but it should be okay.

So this week was pretty fast. We did splits with another American sister. HOLY CRAP I CANT WAIT TO TRAIN. My comp thinks that I will be training after we are through in a few weeks. I just need to get the language. Ummm what??? Super pumped.

Language and food are killing me. But our members are so sweet, they keep making me american food. Really. I love them so much. They are all trying to learn english which makes it way easier on me. Literally everyone has been gone for vacation, so we kind of just walk around and visit members. Super frustrating. My comp isnt really that obedient, so we are workin on that. 

Im super famous around the mission. The only white girl that plays soccer. So thats cool. Everyone already knows me! Hahaha. 

I keep learning so much about myself, and who I am. I dont know what I would do without the Savior right now. I know that I would probably be home if it wasnt for the Atonement. 

So glad you all got the package! Hna Taylor says sorry for taking so long haha.

Not much to report this week, but I can send pictures now!! Prepare yourselves!

Oh Mexico! 12/30/13

So. Here we are again, another Pday. How much do I love these days?? Seriously. Not much has been happening here in our lovely little zone. We are literally 4 streets by 4 streets. The smallest area in the WORLD. Like, what? Are you kidding me? This week has been difficult because everyone is gone on vacation. We are in pretty early every night. Our mission has a new rule. You HAVE to be in your house by 9. It´s too dangerous to be out and about. GREAT.

The food is NAST. Im literally losing so much weight being here. But now muscle.. we go to gym in the morning and Hernandez and I just talk or sleep. Lazy Americans... So great to talk to you all on Christmas. I basically died after and just cried. We had a party at Presidents house the next day. Way fun. 

Hernandez was pretty sure she was going home this week, then she got a blessing... priesthood power is REAL. I am so happy she is staying. She is such a good person (and she knows english..) I spoke again yesterday in Sacrament. They are SO funny in making me speak every week. President Hall was there. The nicest guy. I cant wait for you all to meet him.

Okay.. the moment Ive been trying to avoid... I dont think Im going to Utah State anymore.. I know that was the game plan, but things change, right? So.. dont hate me.. but Im pretty sure I need to go to BYU. I know. Typical missionary. But really. Since the day I got into the MTC, BYU has been on my mind. I think that is the game plan as of right now. Look at me, changing my life one day at a time. 

Really, i dont have that much news this week! im going to be super horrible and not send pictures again. Last week we didnt have time, this week we dont have sim card slots. WHAT. Ugh. I know. Next week, okay? So sorry!!! I have so many great pictures to send you. The Mexicans are all so serious here so they love my funny faces. There is one elder (I LOVE HIM) and he takes so many pictures with me. They are ugly and I love it! 

Remember how I never drank soda. Almost everyday here.. so bad. But its that or go without liquid for hours. So not good. Coca Cola is my bff right now. 

SOCCER EVERY MONDAY. Holy cow, they think Im like Alex Morgan or something. Really, I am pretty sure I am not good, but they love that Im the only white girl that can kick a ball. I play a lot. They all fight for me to be on their team. Especially my bud, Elder Piña. He is the one that takes ugly pictures with me. Seriously. BEST BUDS HERE. He helps with my spanish and I help with the english. Love it. OH! Today we rode a camioneta to Chedraui, the store. Literally, it was SO full of people, we were hanging on for dear life in the doorway. Bienvenido a Mexico!!!  

Its super gross here. I use hand sanitizer all the time. And we Americans are so lazy, Hernandez and I are paying to have our clothes washed right now.. hahaha too silly. So we get 1450 pesos at the beginning of the month.. I still have cash from the 700 I got two weeks ago. I am SO great with money here! 

All in all, the mission is hard. I love my zone and the members here. They take really good care of me even if I dont understand everything. I´ve had a cold since the day I got here, but its fine. Dayquil to the rescue. WOO! 

Love you all. Go to church. Read the scriptures. Say your prayers. Remember that God loves you and Christ gave all for you. This is the true church. Even when people try to shut us down, we know its true. We can feel it. I can feel it. I love you all. Stay safe and have a good New Year! 

Hermana Courtney Hamilton

Poco a poco, and Tender mercies 12/23/13

Wait, what? Im in Mexico? Are you kidding me? So our flight was great. We had 10 minutes to make our flight from Arizona to Mexico. Almost missed it. HOLLA. It was stressful. We went straight to our presidents house and holy hannah it is beautiful. I love President Hall SO much. Honestly, I dont know how I have been so blessed. Monday night I went contacting with some sisters. My spanish is rough but its whatevs. So McCulloch, Hernandez, and I stayed the night with some sisters. Super weird. Everything is different. We had breakfast with the president tuesday then training. My comp is Hna. Alvarez. She is from Mexico and she is 26 years old! WHAT!!! Seriously. Shes pretty tight. Speaks no english, so my spanish is all I use. As we were leaving the presidents house after training, JACLYN SHOWED UP! She came and surprised me! I started crying my eyes out. Seriously, best friends for life. I love that girl. We live in a little apartment with two rooms, a kitchen, a living room, and a bathroom. Really, it{s not as nice as it sounds. But it could be worse.

The members think I am hilarious because I always make jokes about how bad my spanish is. They all call me werra, which means white girl. ALL THE TIME. Its hermana werra here. (Im sure you spell it differently, I just don{t know how). Food is rough. There is some stuff that I love, then others that I physically cannot eat. So nasty. The churros are good.. so thats a plus. We eat one meal a day. One. SO. If anyone wants to send me the following foods, feel free too. I will add the new address at the end. Food to send - Ritz Crackers, Chewy granola bars, mints, anything chocolate that wont melt. chocolate is rough here. really, I would appreciate ANYTHING. Top ramen, popcorn. Anything. I love you all so much. Keep my poor stomach in mind. JK. But really. 

Its really poor here. Dogs everywhere in the street, broken down cars, no washing machines (washing my clothes today.. wow. So grateful for our washing machines.) Im teaching english to a ton of little kids. Plus im starting an english class for the city on january 7th. So pumped. It will be way fun! Hna. Hernandez is in my zone and lives four streets away from me. we go to the gym every morning, and see our zone almost every day. we have the coolest elders. My friend Hna. Gregory lives right above us, so I see her everyday also. Tender Mercies. The Lord knows me way too well. The spanish is so hard. I can barely understand our lessons, so I just sit there, looking dumb. Its frustrating. They all keep saying Poco a Poco, which means little by little, it will come. Hopefully, right?

So I totally broke down yesterday. I put up my family picture wall, basically a shrine to all of you, especially Grace. Went to church, was asked to bear my testimony in Sacrament, nerve racking, didn{t understand a word of what happened. Literally had tears in my eyes all day. As we were leaving, I heard Hna Hernandez yell for me. Yup. I lost it and just started balling my eyes out. I ran and hugged her and just cried and cried and cried. As I was crying, I looked up and who was there?? PRESIDENT HALL. WHAT??? Yeah, they decided randomly to drive 30 minutes to come to a random ward. TENDER MERCY. So president hall grabbed me and gave me the biggest hug (Coolest president ever. He has his own rules) and gave me a kiss on the forehead and told me he loved me. AH. So what I needed. Literally, the Lord knows me SO well and was looking out for me. Ive started to learn how tough this is going to be. I am learning to put all my trust in the Lord. I do my part, and He fills in the best. Being here is so humbling. I will never complain about cold water, doing laundry, or not having something yummy to eat for dinner. 

I love this gospel. As hard as this is being here and not knowing the language or why I was sent to Mexico, i love it. I love the people, I love the people in my zone, and I love the Lord. My invitation for all of you is to think about what you love this Christmas week. Remember all that you have and WHY you have it. 

Im so grateful for you all. I will be Facetiming you on Moms phone on Wednesday. I would assume sometime around noon my time, So i dont know when that it for you. just all be together, okay? Have a phenomenal Christmas. Remember Christ, our Savior, and what He has done for you.

I'm going to Mexico?! 12/12/13

Okay. So much has happened and I'm freaking out on time right now. Typical P-day. So after I emailed last week, we went to class and started talking about getting our travel plans. Friday night, we went as a district to go and get our mail...

OUR TRAVEL PLANS WERE IN THERE. WHAT?! We basically freaked out and were crying we were so happy. It was awesome. This whole "Mexico" thing is really happening. AH. So after being SO excited about our plans, we had to teach our investigator, Sara. We went in with a lesson plan, but once we started talking to her, we knew we had to change. I showed her Alma 36:3, one of my favorites, and helped her to know that even though she is going through so much, she is still loved and the Lord will always be there for her. It was the most spiritual lesson we have had yet. Afterwards, Hma. Captain (our investigator) said that she felt the spirit so much and she knew that we were following the promptings of the Lord. Well... if that's not a compliment, I don't know what is. SCORE. 

This week has been so emotional. Between saying goodbye to our teachers, finishing everything, starting our packing (mom you will be proud.. my suitcases look AWESOME), cleaning the apartment, anything you can think of. It's been weird. Tuesday night we had a devotional with Quentin Cook. WHAT?! 3 apostles since we have arrived? That's unheard of! So cool for us though!

Okay. So to tell you all about my knee:

I couldn't really walk Saturday, Sunday, or Monday, So I had to go to Main Campus and see a doctor. Low and behold, my IT band syndrome started kicking up again. Just in a new spot. I was so frustrated. So they sent me to physical therapy (they billed you... hope that was okay!!) The therapist was way chill, gave me the same run down as usual. I'm pretty used to it after 3 years. All is well though. I am still heading to Mexico! Before the devotional, I totally slipped on ice and wrecked my knee even more. All cut up and such. So the right side of my body is kind of losing it. It's fine. Sort of. 

Thank you SO much for the package! It was exactly what I needed!!! My district loves the O'Henry bars, mom. Basically the whole zone knows to come and ask me for treats. They think you're the coolest mom ever. I agree, of course. :) Thank you for the tree!!! TOO CUTE! Same with the stocking! The whole entire package was just PERFECT! Don't you fret. I'm making room in my suitcases to take all of my food. You know me... Hermana Hamilton + Food = a happy missionary. The thread was helpful! I've been helping the elders sew EVERYTHING. Did I tell you that last week? I'm the best dang pants hemmer this MTC has ever seen. Literally. They look GOOD. 

I love you all so much and I can't wait to hear from you on Monday! I will be calling way early. My guess would be like 6:30. AHH! MEXICO!! Everyone be prepared to tell me quick stories! 

I love you all so much and I'm so grateful to have such an amazing family! This church is just TOO true. I have learned that God knows me INDIVIDUALLY. He cares about me and what I'm going through. How cool is that? I've learned that through the atonement, anything is possible. Even when you feel like you'll never be able to speak to a native, the Savior knows how you feel and can help. I've never felt the spirit so strongly before. This is the Lord's work and I'm blessed to be here and to have the opportunity to serve. 

Hugs and Kisses! Talk to you all on Monday!

Hermana Lillian Fish-Fry

P.S. everyone loves my nicknames.. shortney, lillian, fish fry. It's a constant joke in our zone.