I'm A Weird RM

Yesterday was a little bit weird for me.

Okay.

A lot a bit.

There was a homecoming in my ward for a sister who served her full 18 months. The goal for all sister missionaries, ya know? That year a half that we devote to this beautiful gospel we have been blessed with.

I got my 9 months and came home.

And don't get me wrong. It was what had to happen. I needed to come home. Especially since I'm still getting my killer migraines. Side note: Not as fun as people thing they are. -.-

ANYWHO. Back to topic.

So I'm sitting there in sacrament meeting listening to this sister speak. And it was beautiful. Really. I thought she did a phenomenal job and really invited the spirit to be there with us. She was the typical sister missionary. The soft, sweet voice. The maturity of growing and experiencing life in a different culture. All of that jazz.

Then I thought back to myself.

...If you know me.. I'm not that. I never was the sister to sit and say in hushed, loving tones: "Well, brother and sister, Blah blah blah blah." That wasn't me. I was loud. I was direct. I was straight to the point. I cracked jokes constantly.

Coming home, I felt like I wasn't converted like other sister missionaries. That I must not have done my part in the field. I just took it for a joke.

IT'S NOT TRUE.

Satan, ya know? He works at ya. Gets to you in whatever way He possibly can.

Okay, so maybe I'm not like most sister missionaries to return from their mission.

BUT I DON'T WANT TO BE.

While I was out in the beautiful country of Mexico, I really learned who I was. I learned that it's okay to like yourself. That I may be freaking weird... but that is why I had so many amazing relationships. I believe that we are sent to our missions for who we ARE. Not just what we need to become.

The people that I came to know in Mexico, even for my short time I was there, were the greatest humans to ever exist. I can tell you for a FACT that I was sent to Mexico to meet Perla and Ofelia Mendoza. Ramon Calderon. The Maldonado Family. Maria Hernandez. Dani and Ale Navarro. And so many more. Whether it was for them or for me... I know that because of who I am, it was necessary to meet them. 

Sure. I changed dramatically on my mission. My testimony is unshakeable, now. I know that this Gospel of Jesus Christ is the true gospel. I know that I am a daughter of a KING. I learned how to live alone, and how to take care of your companion when they need someone. I learned to not judge someone for their past, no matter how bleak and hard it might have been. I came to know that I have a relationship with my Heavenly Father.. a relationship that means more to me than anything else on the planet.

What am I trying to say with this random post of words?

It's okay. It's okay to be the weird sister missionary who still is loud and crazy. It's okay to feel like you aren't LIKE THE REST.

Be you. Be who you want to be. Do what you want to do. Say what you want and need to say. I'm grateful I'm not like other sister missionaries that have come home. I'm grateful that I'm still just as crazy as the day I left. I'm grateful that I found out who I am.

The mission... My heart isn't all here with me in little Utah. Benemerito, Vallejo... that is where the other part of me is. And it will forever be a place indescribable.