MTC Week 1

Okay. So the MTC Week 1.

Thoughts:

 

HOLY COW WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE?

I'm a daughter of a KING!

I just want to go hoooooooome.

When is dinner?

Ooo, cute elder!

Spanish? You expect me to learn a new language?

Really though... the MTC is magical. I see new things happening every single day. We have so much freedom over here on the new campus. So many things to do and see and new people to talk to. Your district becomes your family. Your zone becomes your closest friends. In about a week, we are losing most of our zone. I want to cry. We have all become so close in such a short time. You'll learn to love your comp, even if you don't like them. Trust me. I would know. 

 

Learning a language is really hard. Sometimes, you'll want to cry. Other times, a random teacher will pull you out of class because they feel impressed to talk to you and see whats wrong. Then you cry a little bit more. Really, SO FUN.

 

If you're going to be on a campus... West Campus is the place to be. We are all so friendly here! I love it! Everywhere you go, someone is smiling. Plus, we all speak the same language, so that's fun. You learn a lot faster that way.

 

You  learn quickly that P-day is the best day of the week. You get to go to the temple, go to lunch at random restaurants, chat with your whole zone, do your laundry, write home, and email. It goes by way too fast. 8 days later, you realize that you've been gone from home for over a week, and you're still kickin'. 

If you're considering serving, JUST DO IT. Really. What's stopping you? It's so much fun. It's hard work, and you really don't get breaks. But life just makes sense when you're here. The teachers are great, the Elderes y Hermanas are the happiest people ever. You just can't go wrong. 

Hermana Hamilton

**Hermana Hamilton ran into Elder Flynn her first day at the MTC.

So Long, Farewell

Ladies and gents, I'm off to serve The Lord for 18 months! I couldn't be more excited to give my time and effort to this amazing gospel of Christ! While I'm out, my mothers best friend, my second mama, aka Angie, will be taking over my blog and posting for all those that would like to read! 

I know this church is the true church and I know that our Savior died for our sins and Joseph Smith is a true prophet. I can't wait to finally be out serving in Mexico City, the northwest mission. It will be an adventure of a lifetime. 

Thanks so much for all of the love and support! If you'd like to email me, my email address is chamilton@myldsmail.net 

Remember kids!

The church is true, and the book is blue!

Signing off for now, Hermana Hamilton

Days, Weeks, Years

Two years ago, if you had asked me what I was going to do once I graduated high school, the answer would have been simple. I would be playing college soccer with my best friends. 

Well. Times change. 

Two years ago, if you had asked my friends or family if I was going on a mission, most of them would have replied with a resounding NO. 

One year ago, if you had asked me what I was doing once I graduated high school, I would have said I was leaving on a mission for my church. 

One year ago, if you had asked the kids I went to school with if I was going on a mission, they would have thought you were crazy. 

Seven months ago, I started my mission paperwork. All the appointments, interviews, and typing away. 

Five months ago, I submitted my mission paperwork to be looked over, and have a call assigned. 

Four months ago, I received a letter in the mail that told me where I would be living for eighteen months. 

Two weeks ago, I turned nineteen. The official mission age for girls. 

In three days, I report to the Provo Missionary Training Center to start my adventure as a representative for The Church Of Jesus Christ Of Latter-day Saints. 

In one and a half months, I will travel to Mexico City and start my official work in the field. 

Time. Such a funny little thing. It helps sort out every little detail of our lives. While some can't believe that I'm really leaving, others are pushing me out the door to go. 

While times have sometimes been tough, I can already see God's hand in not only my life, but the lives of my family. Choosing to serve was one of the easiest decisions of my life. It was also one of the hardest. 

Would I turn back time and reconsider my choice? Never. Not once. I couldn't be more excited to go and serve. The adversary works on you SO hard once you make the decision to give your life to The Lord. Many (almost all) can attest to that. But every little second has been worth it. 

I love this gospel. I love my Savior and Heavenly Father. I cannot wait to be an official, full time missionary for my church. My goal? To make some sort of difference in at least one persons life. I WILL accomplish this. 

Mexico City is my new home for a year and a half and I couldn't be more thrilled.  

So.

I should probably act like I actually care about my blog. Because in all reality, I love this stupid thing. Sometimes I'm fantastic at posting, other times, I tend to procrastinate.

I know. Strike me down. 

But seeing as I leave in a week, seven days, 168 hours, I figured I should post a tad bit. 

This last week has been the emotional week from the underworld. 

I'm not kidding. 

Between packing up my room, packing my bags, my best friends surprising me, speaking at the adult session of stake conference, and everything in the middle, my emotions have been more up and down than an anxious persons heartbeat. 

Packing the room:

Secretly, this was one of the big things I was waiting to cross off the "To Do List". I got rid of SO much junk and useless stuff. It was fabulous! I really had to sit back and think about what I wanted to keep and what I wanted to throw away or give away. Going through pictures, old notebooks, soccer uniforms, junk drawers, it was all a lot to take in. It hit me that I was leaving my life, all that I'd known for 19 years, behind. So many times I would pick up a random object that needed to be sorted and I would just reminisce about who I used to be and what I spent my time doing. It was like my own time capsule. Something that no one but myself would understand. 

Packing my bags: 

There is a chance that my bags have been packed for almost a week and a half.. Sue me. I like to be prepared. Mama H and I keep going over lists and discussing how best to fit the next year and a half of my life in 3 little bags. It's a struggle. All of you missionaries or soon-to-be missionaries will understand. #thestruggleisreal After countless hours of shopping for makeup and sewing supplies and every medical remedy that has been created, we are done. I have about 5 more things on my list that need to be packed, but they can wait until the morning of. It's scary to walk into my mothers office and see my life sitting there. It makes me wonder if I really have everything that I will need. 

Best Friend Surprise of a Lifetime:

Friday, October 25th, I was given the greatest surprise of all time. As I was sitting packing up my room with my mom, my friend Katelyn (Fab Four) kept texting me. Asking how packing was and what I was doing. She kept texting and texting and she was acting SO strange. My moms best friend, my second mom, Angie, who had been helping us pack, had just left. As I was showing my mom a few necklaces and deciding which to keep, I heard footsteps coming down the stairs. I thought, "Oh, it's just Ang. She must have forgotten something." But as I turned out of my doorway, my three best friends all came walking towards me. I started screaming out of pure shock and joy. 

Now, you might be thinking that this isn't cool. That this is a daily occurrence. Well... You would be greatly wrong. You see, about three months ago, two of my best friends left for school in Nebraska, and another friend ventured up to Logan to start school. That left me here, alone, while preparing for my mission. And let me tell you something... Sitting home alone while your friends are all in college and living on their own is ROUGH. The adversary works on you like nobody's business AND you feel like you have no one to talk to. It's like a double whammy. 

Anywho. Back to the story. 

So. My friends walk towards me, I break down into tears as do they. It was emotional. 

The last time I saw these girls and we were all together, we were saying goodbye to each other at our old stomping grounds, Riverdale Park. We didn't think we would see each other again before I left. It was heartbreaking. But Brittany and Sydnee made the 8 hour drive, starting at 8 o'clock Thursday night, and drove all the way through until 4:30 Friday morning. Katelyn came home from Utah State. All to surprise ME. 

WHAT. 

You can't look at my friends and say they aren't the greatest people on earth. Seriously. I love them. I canceled all my plans, we drove to Park City (where the Fab Four started), shopped, ate cereal and cookies, and had a phenomenal vacation. 

Saturday morning, we woke up and went to Britts restuarant. Squids family and Britts dad were there. 

Let me tell you something. Saying goodbye to those amazing people was one of the hardest things. They've been around since I can remember. They've loved me since the day I joined the team. I will forever be grateful for the love they've had for me and the support I've always received from them. 

After a lunch at Scaddy's, we went to Salt Lake. More importantly, we went to Build-a-Bear. There is a great chance that we are way too old to be making stuffed animals. But we needed to. And we really didn't care what anyone thought. We all got the same bear, dressed to our own likings, and stuffed them. The girls made a voice recording and put it in my bear. It was of each of them saying something to me, then ending in a Fab Four sign off. I got a little white shirt and they all wrote their nicknames on it. Now I will have them with me while I serve in Mexico. I couldn't ask for anything better. 

I can guarantee that no one will ever understand the love I have for these three girls. They were my only friends when I had no one back in Syracuse. They were my family. My support. My comedians. My teammates. Everything in between. I will forever be grateful for the lasting impression they have left on me. 18 months isn't so long. We will be reunited soon. 

Thank you to the best best friends and sisters I could ask for. I love you. #fabfour #o4l

Speaking in the Adult Session of Stake Conference:

Coolest. Thing. Ever. 

I thought I was done speaking, seeing as I had already given my farewell. 

Nope. 

I was wrong. 

Shocker. *insert annoyed face*

At first, I was so confused as to why they wanted ME to speak in the adult session. I could understand speaking in the general session Sunday. But adults? I was the youngest one there by at LEAST 10 years. 

Seriously. I think my stake presidency just gets a kick out of having me speak at everything. 

E.v.e.r.y.t.h.i.n.g.

 I spoke on faith, mission prep, and PMG. (Preach My Gospel for those who have no clue what I'm saying.) Ask me if I prepared to speak at all? 

If you guessed no, 

YOU ARE CORRECT. WE HAVE A WINNER. COME GET YOUR PRIZE. 

Really though. I just stood up and decided to wing it. And it rocked. Honestly, the best talk I've ever given. And now? I feel more prepared than ever to leave and serve The Lord. I'm secretly so grateful for the opportunity I had to speak at conference. It was so neat and I learned SO much from it. 

I'm ready, guys. I'm so excited to finally be out in the field serving. I know that this is the next step I need to take in my life. Though it will be challenging and difficult and sometimes I will feel like I can't do it, I know that by putting my trust in our Father in Heaven and his son, Jesus Christ, I will be able to help someone come closer to their Savior. I will be able to make a difference in someone's life. I couldn't be more excited to head to Mexico City and serve. 

I report to the Provo Missionary Training Center on November 6th, 2013 at 1 o'clock to start an adventure of a life time. 

Remember kids, 

The church is true

And

The book is blue

Worst Blogger Ever

I'm alive. I promise. Check back later this week for a new post or two. 

#seeyousoon

Coincidence? I THINK NOT.

My good friend, Maggie, made this comment the other day. "There are no such thing as coincidences. It's just times that the Spirit remains anonymous."

I'm pretty sure that is the most accurate statement to ever be made in the history of all time. Ever.

We will start with a story from last week. Last Sunday, to be exact. As you all know, my good friend Maggie is now on an adventure in New Jersey working as a nanny. Has it been the hardest thing ever? Why yes. Yes it has. But that's not the point of this story! 

So. 

Every Sunday (we try to make it every Sunday), Breckell Souifua, Maggie, and myself make our way to the Bountiful temple to just walk around and talk about life and all that is happening. It's one of my most favorite weekly traditions. With last Sunday being our last chance to do this, we made the decision to venture to Salt Lake City and walk around Temple Square. Best. Night. Ever. 

We took pictures, chatted, walked in silence and just took in the spirit of the temple. As we were leaving, we happened upon a group of Polynesian individuals singing to the sister missionaries that were heading back to their apartments. We sat and listened as they finished the song. They said goodbye to the sisters and Maggie jumped at the open opportunity. She asked the singers if they would sing one more song for us. They were hesitant at first. We started talking to them about random things. They asked if we were going on missions, which we all replied yes to and that I had my call. 

That's when the magic really began. 

They said they were going to sing a song of verses straight from the Doctrine and Covenants about missionary work. I was in tears. The spirit was so unbelievably strong, I couldn't keep my emotions inside.

We sat and thanked them for singing that amazing song for us. Maggie requested another song, I Know My Redeemer Lives. They weren't as excited to do this. We talked with them about how this was our last weekend together and that we never came to the Salt Lake temple for our Sunday adventures. Maggie started crying and you could see that they knew they needed to sing. The two boys of the group decided on a mash up of I Feel My Savior's Love and I Know My Redeemer Lives. 

I never wanted the song to end. It was exactly what we needed as friends. All three of us started crying. The spirit was SO strong. I didn't want it to end. As soon as the song was over, the singers all said how they felt that they needed to come to temple square that night. I have no doubt in my mind that it was for us. 

Coincidence? I think not. There was a reason we went to Salt Lake. There was a reason we happened upon a group of singers that weren't even planning on going that night. I think Heavenly Father knew that we needed that. 

As we drove back to Maggie's house, there was complete silence in the car. Mags cried most of the way home with the realization that she was leaving. We say in her driveway for about an hour and a half just talking. 

Okay. Not really talking. More like sobbing. 

I think that it was all part of the plan that Maggie, Breckell, and I all became close. We need(ed) each other, more than ever. 

Side note: If you read this whole post, I love you and think the world of you. 

NEXT STORY

So I'm at work the other day. And it was SUCKY. I'm not even kidding. I've never had that bad of a day before. Normally work is the thing that makes me feel better. Not this time!

It was Wednesday. The day that my BFF had officially left for New Jersey. I came into work crying because I had never felt more alone. I had 0 friends. My boss and one of the supervisors came to check on me and I was just a wreck. They hugged me and said it was all going to be okay. 

Sure, sure. That's what they all say. 

So I'm out on the sales floor when who walks in? Noel Greenhalgh! I about shouted with joy. I ran over to her and she gave me the biggest hug! We say and talked for a bit. She took one look at me and knew something was up. (She is fantastic at reading people.) I told her about Maggie and how I was feeling more alone than ever. At first, she joked saying now I could come see her and hang out with her more. 

Really though. I will. 

After joking around for a minute, she became serious. She looked and me and said, "I wasn't going to come in today. I had no reason to. I have so much to do at home. But I had a feeling that I needed to come in and see if you were working. I think this is why."

Coincidence? I really don't believe so. Noel has been there for me a lot these last few months. Having her show up at work and just talk to me was exactly what I needed. She knew what to say, she told me that I needed to come hang out with the kids, all of that. I was on the verge of tears the whole time. 

The spirit works in mysterious ways. 

So-called coincidences of my life:

1. I had my best friends. People I thought I would never separate from. But Mags and I were so lucky to have seminary together last year. We started to talk and now we have an "eternal friendship" (inside reference between the two of us) 

2. The mission age changed right as my hips were at their worst. The mission age changed right as I didn't make the high school soccer team. The mission age changed when I decided for myself that I wanted to marry a young man worthy to take me to the temple. The mission age changed when I had no clue where I was going to go for school the next year. 

3. Hispanic couples keep coming into work and talk with me. They speak Spanish and I have to try and decipher what they are saying. 

4. I'm speaking Spanish on my mission. I want to be a social worker when I return home. Knowing two languages will be so beneficial. 

5. My sister is my number one go to person. We are so ridiculously close right now. 

6. I wasn't supposed to run cross country in high school. I probably ran about 5 races and then stopped. But I met the most amazing guy from it. 

These are just a few things I think of when I think of "coincidences". I think the Heavenly Father and Christ have a plan for us. They know what we need, when we need it most. 

These last few months have been some of the most spiritual times of my life. I couldn't be any more grateful for this amazing, perfect, beautiful gospel and all that we have been blessed with. 

Update

Spanish is kicking my butt. 

No. Not just kicking... 

Spanish has taken me by the hair and is whipping me back and forth. (No intentional reference to Willow Smith's song, though it is kind of catchy.) 

Seriously though. 

I'm sitting at work today, having a grand old time. When in walks a sweet couple. They are Hispanic and I can tell they don't speak much English. They ask me to help them find something. 

My immediate thought? "Oh my gosh. What do I do. Maybe if I run away they will find someone else."

Guys. I'm not kidding. I almost booked it the other direction. 

In their question, I could pull out a word or two here and there. I knew enough to help them to the right section. It went downhill from there. They kept repeating the same thing over and over again and I had no clue what they were saying. I wanted to cry I felt so bad that I couldn't help them. I ran to the computer and tried typing in what they needed. Nothing popped up. I ran to find my manager, who thankfully speaks Spanish, and begged him to come help me. We found the couple up by the register holding two "Our Heritage" books. I felt so stupid. John, my manager, sat and chatted with the wife for a minute then they were on their way. 

I think this was a sign that I need to start working on my español ASAP. I wanted to cry after this. I can barely teach people in English, how will I ever teach them in Spanish?? 

I know that Heavenly Father will provide a way for me to pick up the language and be able to speak it. But I think he is telling me that I need to start now and put in extra effort. Tonight was a serious learning experience. Time to buckle down and start studying better.  

I'm Going To Be A Missionary

I work at the good old DB, right? Deseret Book, for those of you who are already confused. Anywho. It's basically the greatest job I could ever have and I love it. Even if I do complain sometimes. Working there for these last few months has helped me tremendously when it comes to my mission. It's strengthened my love for the gospel and for the people I will serve. 

Well... It was super slow today. So of course all of the girls and I were sitting up at the front register just chatting our little hearts away. In walks a nice lady, probably late 30's early 40's. She came right up to the register, and blurted out, "I'm not a Mormon." We sat there, a little taken aback and confused. She proceeded to say that she was taking the discussions from 2 sister missionaries and needed the other books. She said she had the Book of Mormon, but not the other ones and needed help. April, a girl I work with, and myself started talking to this lady about the Doctrine and Covenants and The Pearl of Great Price. This poor lady was just so confused on why we read so many books. April walked her to the back and showed her a triple combination book and how they weren't expensive and they were fairly small. While April and this lady were gone, I turned to Alex, another coworker, and just smiled. Alex said, "You're going to be such a good missionary. You just lit up when she said she needed help with the books." That was probably one of the best things I could have heard all day. When the lady came back up to the front, we sat and chatted. She said she was a single woman, living alone, and that she would never let the elders come over because that would just be weird. She loves the sisters that are currently teaching her. She kept boasting about how they have all become her friends and how they have the greatest spirits and personality about them. 

Sister missionaries for the win!

Our lovely friend couldn't believe that one of the girls teaching her was only 19. She loved her so much! After we rang this lady out and she left, I just sat back and thought. I thought about how I am going to meet people that take this gospel and just run with it. I hope to meet someone with such a fiery spirit as the lady I met today while out on my mission. I can't wait to go and serve The Lord and give 18 months to the people of Mexico City. 

Remember ladies and gents... 

The church is true. 

The book is blue. 

Remember who you are and what you stand for. 

Dear Best Friend-

You have no idea how much I miss you. And it's true. I really do miss you more and more everyday. But I'm not going to sit around and wait for you to apologize. Yes, things happened that you might not have liked. But that happens. I wasn't malicious in my actions. It would have been a whole different story if I was acting in spite of you. Which you and I both know I would never do, because I love you. 

I've talked to our mutual friends. They agree that this fight I stupid. I want to talk it out, but you're completely against it. I miss having you to turn to. One day I hope you can look back and see how ridiculous this all is. It's a misunderstanding and things have been blown way too far out of proportion. 

When YOUR best guy friend and my best guy friend are talking about it while they are together, that's when you know this has gotten out of hand. They agree that you need to sit and listen to my side of the story. But you choose to only listen to what you want. 

I'm not saying any of this to be rude or hurtful. I'm saying it because it's honest and upfront. That's how we USED to be with each other. It's how we worked. 

I miss you. I miss your family. I miss our times together. I want it back to how it was. But until you are ready to sit and talk, I will go on with my life just as you will with yours. 

Dear best friend... This sucks. I miss you. I love you. I pray for you. I hope you're well. I am ALWAYS going to be here for you. No matter what happens. 

Say Something, I'm Giving Up On You

Because we all know how much of a sappy romantic I am. Tears. That is what happens during these kinds of dances. 

Say something, I'm giving up on you.
I'll be the one, if you want me to.
Anywhere, I would've followed you.
Say something, I'm giving up on you.

And I am feeling so small.
It was over my head
I know nothing at all.

And I will stumble and fall.
I'm still learning to love
Just starting to crawl.

Say something, I'm giving up on you.
I'm sorry that I couldn't get to you.
Anywhere, I would've followed you.
Say something, I'm giving up on you.

And I will swallow my pride.
You're the one that I love
And I'm saying goodbye.

Say something, I'm giving up on you.
And I'm sorry that I couldn't get to you.
And anywhere, I would have followed you.
Oh-oh-oh-oh say something, I'm giving up on you.

Say something, I'm giving up on you.
Say something...

New Jersey, Say What?

Went and did baptisms this morning with some friends. Thought it was a typical morning. 

I WAS WRONG. So very wrong. 

Driving to go and drop my good friend, Maggie, off at home when what happens? She tells me she has news. BIG news. She tells the tale of how she is now going to nanny in New Jersey for 9 months. And here is the real kicker. She leaves the first week of October. 

*Moment of silence*

Okay now freak out. WHAT. Where did this come from?! My one and only girlfriend still at home is leaving before I am. (Slightly jealous. But that's a different story.) I couldn't be more excited for my beautiful friend!!! I know in my heart that this is exactly where she needs to be. As sad as I will be for that month that we won't be together, I will be more excited for her. She gets to go live a real life. Experience the world. It's completely perfect for her. 

I love my friend. She's stuck by me through some stuff that I couldn't deal with alone. She is the Light that I needed in my life. To surround myself with people who cherish the gospel as much as I do has turned my whole life around. I owe so much to her and I don't know how I will ever repay her. She's been the example that I needed. Whether she goes on a mission, gets married, or ends up staying in New Jersey, I will have her back and support her one million percent. I'm beyond excited and proud of her. 

Now the real fun begins... Shopping for the both of us to leave. She finally understands what it's like to have a deadline of when you need to leave your home. This should be fun. ;) 

So What Now?

In my last post, I noted how I am struggling with dating and opening up. Don't get me wrong. I'm a big fan of the male gender and I'm not afraid to say who is attractive. But within the last year or two, I have struggled beyond belief to make anything happen with a guy!

Now you may be thinking, "Courtney. This is the stupidest post I've ever read. Why are you even writing this?" Well my dear readers, I don't keep a journal. This is basically the open book of my life. So if you don't care, don't read! If you're interested in knowing how I became so messed up when it comes to guys, prepare yourself for a good time. 

Two boys. How can two boys take a girls life and turn it upside-down? How should I even begin to write this? Well. For each boy, we will give them a letter to signify who they are. Whether it's the first letter of his name or the last letter, no one will know but me. Unless you're really smart and know my life. 

So. J. We will start with him. 

Imagine this, if you will. I'm an 8 year old at a new school with no friends. In walks a boy from my new church class. Boom. Best friends right off the bat. 10 years later, we've dated, broken up, basically been siblings, hated each other, been each others only friends. Really anything you could ever imagine. Then one fateful day in February of 2012, he decided he didn't want me in his life. His exact words were, "I don't need your friendship in my life anymore." Yeah. I was an emotional wreck for weeks after that. Ask my friends. I'm pretty sure I cried everyday. 16 months later, we still hasn't spoken. Until we met at Deseret Book. We talked for a minute. The next encounter we had was at his house. Really, his farewell. He's been out serving a mission for The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints for about 2 months now. 

He's just a boy. It shouldn't be that big a deal, right? WRONG. I've lost all trust in people. Thanks to good J. Going from best friends to absolutely nothing is the worst thing. We were supposed to make it through everything together. Best friends for life. But, he had other plans. I don't know what I did, what happened. He just decided we were done. I promise, this was one of the hardest times in my life. It may seem so little to others, but it affected me more than you'll know. 

So boy 1 gave me the great trait of not trusting anyone anymore. 

Boy 2 is A. Oh A, what can I even say except for the fact that you are breaking my heart a little bit more with every week that passes. The story is simple. Boy meets girl. Boy likes girl. Girl can't commit. They date off and on for 3, let me repeat 3, years. Boy is sick of it and tells the girl he's done. Girl is heartbroken. Girl is still in love with boy. Boy writes her off. Girl tries to be okay with it, but is so sad. 

That's the story in a nutshell. A is the boy that I am head over heels for. But he doesn't reciprocate the same feelings. Granted he is out on his mission and can't focus on girls. Plus I'm leaving soon. But sometimes, all I need from him is an email that he's doing alright. I miss him more than anything right now. Having feelings for someone and them not feeling them back is what can mess you up. It hurts. 

Sometimes, I just wish I knew who I was supposed to end up with and when we would meet. Waiting sucks and the added heartbreak is no fun. I just want to date around and have a good time. But nope. I can't because I'm so wound up in these two histories. I ROCK, GUYS. 

That's all for now. You all can sit and ponder my awesome struggles when it comes to males. Because that's what I do! Sit and think about it every single day. 

Until later, remember who you are and what you stand for!

Lacking and Slacking

My deepest apologies, ladies and gents. I used to be so on top of keeping up with my blog. But as of late, I haven't been posting really anything meaningful or noteworthy. I give my most sincere apologies.

What is new, you ask?
(Okay. Maybe you didn't ask that. Just go along with it.)
Well, my lovely readers, there is much to say that has begun! As you know, I have my mission call.

Mexico City Northwest sisters, can I get an AMEN!

I've met two girls now going to my mission. And the nice young gentleman that tested my language a few weeks ago also served in the beautiful city. Heavenly Father knew that I was going to be an anxious-basket case if I arrived in Mexico not knowing one person or knowing anything about the area. That's why, thankfully, He set it up that I would meet my new Sister (see what I did there? Sister... Sister Missionaries.. ah I'm so funny!), Jaclyn! I like to believe that we were friends before this life.

*Story time*
So. I opened my mission call. Freaked out. Came to terms with it. Hashtagged #mexicomexicocitynorthwest on the good old Instagram. And what else popped up with that lovely hashtag? ANOTHER MISSIONARY PICTURE. There was only one other. So you see why I was so excited. Me, being the creep I am, commented on this young fellows photo (it was a picture of him and my home girl, Jaclyn) and said I was going to the same mission! From there, Jaclyn and I texted and after about 2 minutes of talking, I decided that this was going to be a good friendship. We were already acting like friends that had known each other for years. By some weird fate, she had a bridal party in Roy the following Saturday. I wasn't home, but made the joke that her and her parents could come visit me at the good old DB. Yeah. They did. Thankfully, she's just as outgoing as I am, so meeting wasn't awkward. We continued to text and get to know each other. We decided we wanted to go out for lunch in the next week. We picked on a day and that was that. Not even 5 minutes later, she texted me saying we should go do baptisms at the Bountiful temple if we were going to already be there. Funny thing is, I was telling my mom how I was planning on going to do baptisms after lunch already. This made me laugh so hard. Obviously we are supposed to be friends. Since that day, we've been great friends. She leaves a few weeks before I do, but we should be able to catch each other for about a week in the MTC. She's pavin' the way in Mexico. I refer to her as mi futuro companero. I can't wait for us both to be on Mexican soil and teaching and preaching our way into peoples hearts.

Other than that, I work my life away. CB (Cherry Berry) and DB (Deseret Book) are working me to the b-o-n-e. It's nice to earn some money, but I do miss having a social life. I have about 2 friends I could call up right this second and just talk to. Mags, because she's great. And my good friend Brennan. But ya know.. he works everyday as well. So we only talk late at night or early in the morning. I just have to remember... quality. NOT quantity. Mags has been great. During times of stress, she has really stepped up and been the friend that I need. Plus she's an awesome role model to my little sister. Brennan is just as great. He keeps me laughing when I'm struggling. He's great to hang out with and talk to at 2 in the a.m.

I've learned a lot about myself these last few weeks. I don't take crap from people. I can handle being on my own. I really like to shop and buy skirts and shirts and dresses. Regular music makes me sick to my stomach. #hilaryweeksforthewin. 90% of my friends are over the age of 20. I can't really date anymore. As much as I love boys and imagine myself dating them, I just can't do it. I don't get anything from it these days. SO THAT'S GREAT. I miss my soccer sisters. Things were always easier when I could go to them for help. But ya know, growing up and moving away to schools changes things. Thankfully we are pretty good about keeping up with each other.

I promise that I will try to stay on top of my posting game. I mean... I only have 65 days until I leave. I need to make sure I leave SOMETHING good behind.

With the end of this post, I feel like I need to finish with something random and hopefully helpful to someone:

You are great. I don't care how many times you've been told that. Believe it at least this one time. I believe in YOU. You are here for a reason, and you have a purpose. God knew that you were going to be a force to reckon with. That's why He saved you for this day and age. Please don't give up. Don't give up on yourself, your dreams, all the things you're working for. None of it. It's worth it. YOU are worth it. I love you. Never, ever, ever, forget that.

Until next time, sleep well, all. Say your prayers. Remember who you are and what you stand for.

Some Nights

Some nights I sit here in bed wondering if I'm on the right path. Then I get thinking about someone else. I wonder how they are and if they are living right. I got down tonight and prayed for my future husband. I have no clue where he is, who he is, or what he is doing. I just know that he needed a prayer right about now. You may think I'm crazy, but it was one of those weird promptings that just come on. I can't wait to finally meet him and start our lives together. I know I'm only 18, but I want to make sure he is okay. Besides, that's what our church is about, right? Caring and praying for others? 

Okay, I'm done. Random babbling of the night. Sleep well, all. Say your prayers. Remember who you are and what you stand for. 

Mosiah

I've been reading in Mosiah these past few nights.. I've never really understood it until now. The first 6 chapters are amazing! There is so much doctrine to learn and absorb. It talks about missionary work, service, being a son and daughter of God. It hits everything! Mosiah might be my new favorite book in the good ol' Book of Mormon. Grateful for this little piece of heaven we have the opportunity to read. 

Side note: Went through the temple last week. I'm officially an adult in the church world! Honestly, it was pretty cool. Not as weird as everyone makes it seem. I'm so excited to go back and learn as much as I can! 

I Miss You

That's all. I just miss you. I know you're doing amazing things right now. And I'm so proud and excited for you. I just wish I could talk to you about it. 

Less Than A Week

Until you are in my position, you have no clue how hard it is to look in your drawers and your closet and see all of your temple clothes and garments... And not be able to wear them yet. I am literally dying sitting here and wishing I could wear them. Only 6 more days. I can do this. 

Pray for me. 

After Hello

I have some weird fascination with books and some of the words said. This is one of my new finds from the book After Hello.

Perspective

I wish people could just see things as I see them. I wish they would understand them as I do. But alas, that's where agency comes in. 

I was out at dinner tonight with a friend. While sitting there, enjoying our breadsticks, some people next to us were talking about a man from work. They made a joke about how he has 10 kids, so he must be a Mormon. They then continued on to make a few subtle jokes about the Mormons and how we have so many wives and kids. This is one of those things that drives me crazy. Yes. Some of our prophets did have more than one wife. That is not longer the case though, and hasn't for a great while. Yes. There are some families that have quite a few kids. But is that your place to judge? 

I guess I just don't get it. These ladies have probably never been to a sacrament meeting. They've probably never really thought about how normal we as Latter-Day Saints are. Maggie and I decided to write a note to these women as we were walking out. We started off by saying thank you for serving our country. They were in the armed forces and have just gotten home. Following our thank you, we left a little friendly fact, just saying that not all Mormons have 10 kids and 6 wives. We are normal every day people. We also invited them to read The Book of Mormon and learn for themselves. We left the note on their table and walked out. Who knows? Maybe they sat and just laughed at us, or maybe we sparked something in them. Either way, we did our part. 

Another part of this post will be short and sweet. Okay... Maybe not so short. My apologies.  

Yes, people argue and disagree. We all have our own opinions and reasons for doing the things that we do. These past few weeks, I've been getting the cold shoulder from some friends. It's not a big deal, but it's dragged on far too long. We've both given our sides of the story and the reasoning of why we did some things. I just feel as though these friends aren't looking at it from my perspective. It has made it hard to try and fix things when both sides aren't open to discussion. Truth be told, I do miss my friends. But I'm not sitting around and waiting for them. I've said my peace, I've been upfront and honest about everything. When they decide to get off of their high horses and discuss things, we will. I'm happy to do it. But I won't put my opinion of the matter to the side. I stand by what I did and I'm not apologizing for it. I shouldn't have to. It's been rough without them by my side, but it's also taught me that I'm okay by myself. I don't need to talk to people constantly or always have something to do. 

I'm probably rambling quite a bit. Sorry about that. I just felt that I needed to get some of this out. Again, I wish we could all understand each others perspectives and how we think and deal with things. 

103 days until I leave. Bring it on. 

Time

Short and simple. Time. Our time is so limited, there comes a point where you have to schedule everything down to the very last minute to try and fit everything in.

A typical day for myself consists of waking up at the crack of dawn, cleaning my room, showering, brushing out my mess of a hair (because yes, that does deserve it's own amount of time), going to work, running errands, shopping for mission outfits, doing homework, scripture study, planning primary lessons, chores, and hanging out with the family. 24 hours in a day is just not enough!

I'm to the point in my life where I have to be responsible for my own time. I can't have my mom pushing me to do something before the day's end. To help with creating my own time, I never have my phone anymore. It's so nice. Less people, less technology, less distraction. It normally just sits thrown in my locker at work or on the floor of my room somewhere. I rarely watch TV or movies anymore. Don't worry.. I'm not giving up my So You Think You Can Dance addiction. Or watching soccer games. I'm not throwing those two away just yet. Music is my best friend these days. So that I have something going, my Pandora stations are getting a workout. They are always playing.

Hanging out with my friends is a lucky thing these days. I always fit in time to see them. Or try to at least. Whether it's going to the temple on a Sunday night or going to get frozen yogurt right before they close, I'm trying to keep up with some people. It's hard with everyone going their separate ways! But, alas, that is life. Welcome to growing up!

I guess the point that I'm trying to make is don't waste your time. There are so many things that need to be done. Don't just sit idle. Make the day worth it.


P.S. New life motto. In the scriptures, it always says "And it came to pass," Not once does it say, "And it came to stay". Everything in life comes and goes in waves. Like Sugarland says, "And the hard times pass, like the good ones do." During the hard times, keep your head held high and your faith even higher. During the good times, remember who you are and what you stand for and why it's a good life.

Primary Kids

I've been called as a primary teacher in my ward recently. And can I just say how much I absolutely adore little kids? 

During sacrament meeting today, my best friend (who is 5) ran up to me and came to sit with my family during the rest of the meeting. I tell her basically everything. I love her to pieces. She is my little Bug. 

This is one of the many pictures she and I took while watching fireworks on the 4th of July. Obviously we are exactly alike. 

Anywho, I went with her to primary, then was asked to sit with the sunbeams. I haven't been called to a certain class yet, so I go and sit in with different teachers. There were 5 kids in our class today. 4 boys, and one little girl who happens to be my neighbor. One of the boys, Braxton, had a fishing line and an action figure tied to the end. He "went fishing" the whole time we were in singing time. I was busting up. He kept turning to me and asking if he was doing good. CUTE. Then there is my favorite.. Evan. We became the best of buds today. He is super crazy and loud. But what do you expect from a 3 year old? We made funny faces, gave high fives, and played the quiet game all during the second hour. Evan and Trenton started play fighting, so that was a whole mess to deal with. 

After singing time, we headed to our classroom. Five 3 year olds running around a church turns in to a game of hide and go seek. Have no fear, we found them all. Our lesson was on families and they actually paid attention for most of the hour! I sat next to Trenton during class. He was so funny. He kept giving me high fives and making crazy sounds. At the end of class, when everyone was coloring, he came and gave me the biggest hug. After the lesson, we colored, sang, danced, and "fished" with Braxton. He had to teach us all how to do it. It was one of the funnest days I've had at church in awhile. 

The main reason for this post is for what happened as I was saying goodbye to one of the kids. Evan's older sister, Ellie, came to pick him up and take him to their parents. I went to let him out and he turned around and gave me a hug. He then turned to his sister and said, "I love her!" CUTEST THING EVER. Basically my heart melted and the other teacher stood there, baffled. Evan hasn't ever said that to any of the other teachers he's been with.

 I take this as one of the biggest compliments I have ever received. Yes, it was from a 3 year old... But it was exactly what I needed to hear. That little boy was the blessing that I needed today. I absolutely love primary and those little sunbeams. They have so much life and they are the sweetest spirits. I can't wait to go back next week and see them all again. 

Welcome To The Real World

Oh my goodness gracious. I have never been this tired in my life. I have no down time anymore. I should be doing homework right now. Or laundry. Or reading my scriptures. Or sleeping. But I needed to just write some shtuff.
I hate the real world. There is so much to do in about NO time. I work two jobs, am doing a college course, all while trying to prepare for my mission. Plus, my mom was just laid off and my cousins from the other side of the country are here. Welcome to my life. It's great.
Side note. I really do have a good life. I know my sarcasm makes it seem like my life sucks, but I really am so blessed.

I'm working at Cherry Berry, a frozen yogurt shop. I'm also working at Deseret Book. Which is an amazing place to be. I love everyone there and I love the atmosphere. There is never a dull moment. I love working because I feel like I'm actually doing something for myself. School on the other hand can go drown. I don't know why I decided to take a summer course. I have no time for it and I'm not even that invested in online schooling. I hate it.

Between everything going on right now, I have no social life. Ask Emily and Jaycee... I haven't hung out with them in forever. I think I've hung out with Cameron Dower more than my two best girl friends. Ugh. It sucks. To top everything off, I have 4 months to prepare for my mission. This includes getting a passport, visa, and actually accepting my mission call. Oops.. I should probably get around to that.

This is what growing up really feels like. Making the executive decision to not go and waste money on a movie or lunch out and about just because I feel like it. Not getting to really hang out with friends. Having to be the responsible one and go home early because you worked a late night and an early morning. I'm so exhausted. I just want someone to come and watch movies with me while I slowly fall asleep. That would be great.

I'm so excited that I'm finally becoming an adult in the world. It's just a lot more tiring than I thought it would be.

In the words of Rosi Goslan...

It's been a long day. And all I gotta say is make it strong.

Called To Serve... Finally!

You do not understand how long I have been waiting to finally find out where I am going to serve on my mission.

Okay... it hasn't really been that long. But it has felt like an eternity!

Dear Sister Hamilton,
You are hereby called to serve as a missionary of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. You are assigned to labor in the Mexico Mexico City Northwest Mission. It is anticipated that you will serve for a period of 18 months.
You should report to the Provo Missionary Training Center on Wednesday, November 13, 2013. You will prepare to preach the gospel in the Spanish language.

WHAT?!?! No one saw this coming! I was convinced I was staying in the states, my friends and family kept thinking East coast or Europe. But Mexico?! Holy cow! Last week my mom told me that if I get called to Mexico, I'm not going.. Well... Thanks for jinxing that one, madre. ;)

I couldn't be more excited. If you had asked me a year and a half ago if I was thinking about a mission, I would have thought you were crazy. Now? You can call me Hermana Hamilton! I know that I've been called to Mexico for a specific reason. I know that there are people who are waiting to meet me and hear what I have to say about this amazing gospel.

I'm terrified to finally be a missionary. I don't know the scriptures and the stories like others do. But you know what? That's okay! I will learn, just as everyone else does.

I know this is the true gospel. I have absolutely no doubt that we all chose to come here and go through our trials, because we all knew of the greatness that would come afterwards. I love the prophet. Thomas S. Monson is one of the most amazing people on this planet. He is the current day prophet and I know that he is doing everything he can to help better not only our lives, but everyone we encounter. I'm so grateful for missionary work and the opportunity we have to go out and serve others while we put our own lives on hold.  I know that without my friends and family, I wouldn't be this far. They have been the greatest examples to me in my life. I'm grateful for the atonement and that my sins can be washed away. I'm grateful for a loving Redeemer who gave his life for me. I'm grateful for a plan that can keep our families together forever.

I am so excited to go and serve. I know that it will be hard, but it is what I need to be doing with my life right now. I can't wait!!!!

Well Hello There

I've been on an updating craze today. First, by finishing off my old blog (courtsoccerblogger.blogspot.com), second by putting up all of the graduation pictures I have on Facebook, and third by starting my new blog! It's been a very busy morning in the Hamilton household.
Okay not really. But that's not the point.
I feel like I need to do a brief intro of who I am for new readers. When I look at my old blogs statistics, I feel cool having readers from all over the world. So to all of you in a different country.. HELLO!
My name is Courtney Hamilton. My nickname is C-Shortney. I am 18 years old. I just graduated high school last week. I am the oldest of 3. I My sister is 12 and my brother is 16. I've lived in the same house for 10 years, and before that, a house in Clearfield for about 6. We don't get out much.. I'm really into soccer. I have played for 12 years. I ended my soccer career last November. I had other things I needed to put my time and focus into. It was hard to be done, but I know it will be so worth it. I have bursitis in both of my hips, tendinitis in my knees and ankles, and chronic sprained ankles. The joys of sports. I do miss it so much. If you know me, you know I keep up to date on all of the USWNT games and stats. That's my thing. My friends probably think it's annoying.. I think it's the greatest thing in the world.
I am currently preparing to serve a mission for The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. I am submitting my papers on the 23rd of June and am hoping to be out by the end of October. I haven't always been the most active member of my church. But this last year, I have really come out of that and am making a huge effort to be an example to those around me. I can't wait to finally be out there and serve others.
My favorite color is red. Favorite ice cream is Moose Tracks. I love chick flicks and comedies. I can be the most caring person in the world, or I can make you feel like an idiot. It's a great talent.. really. I can press my throat down to make it look like I'm a frog. My friends think it's cool. I think it's annoying. I have a lot of different 'best' friends. I have my Fab Four, which consists of my girls from my old soccer team. I have a friend from Brigham who I think the world of and consider a best friend. I have Emily George and Jaycee Brown. My two girl friends. My ONLY two girl friends. When we tell people we don't hang out with anyone else... we really don't. Jeffrey Herbert, my bff and porcupine for the last 2 years. Some of these kids have made a ridiculously awesome impact in my life. I don't know what I would do without them.
When I return from my mission, I'm planning to go to school to become a social worker. I want to help people so much. If I could just serve people for the rest of my life, I would. But... I have to worry about making SOME sort of money for my future.  

All of my friends are leaving in the next few months to go and serve. I am so excited for them! I am being called to work in the primary of my home ward in the next few weeks. I love little kids. This is going to be an adventure, I can already tell.

Well... now you know me at least a little bit! Over the next few months/years, you'll read about my friends, family, mission, and everything to come after that.