I'm A Weird RM

Yesterday was a little bit weird for me.

Okay.

A lot a bit.

There was a homecoming in my ward for a sister who served her full 18 months. The goal for all sister missionaries, ya know? That year a half that we devote to this beautiful gospel we have been blessed with.

I got my 9 months and came home.

And don't get me wrong. It was what had to happen. I needed to come home. Especially since I'm still getting my killer migraines. Side note: Not as fun as people thing they are. -.-

ANYWHO. Back to topic.

So I'm sitting there in sacrament meeting listening to this sister speak. And it was beautiful. Really. I thought she did a phenomenal job and really invited the spirit to be there with us. She was the typical sister missionary. The soft, sweet voice. The maturity of growing and experiencing life in a different culture. All of that jazz.

Then I thought back to myself.

...If you know me.. I'm not that. I never was the sister to sit and say in hushed, loving tones: "Well, brother and sister, Blah blah blah blah." That wasn't me. I was loud. I was direct. I was straight to the point. I cracked jokes constantly.

Coming home, I felt like I wasn't converted like other sister missionaries. That I must not have done my part in the field. I just took it for a joke.

IT'S NOT TRUE.

Satan, ya know? He works at ya. Gets to you in whatever way He possibly can.

Okay, so maybe I'm not like most sister missionaries to return from their mission.

BUT I DON'T WANT TO BE.

While I was out in the beautiful country of Mexico, I really learned who I was. I learned that it's okay to like yourself. That I may be freaking weird... but that is why I had so many amazing relationships. I believe that we are sent to our missions for who we ARE. Not just what we need to become.

The people that I came to know in Mexico, even for my short time I was there, were the greatest humans to ever exist. I can tell you for a FACT that I was sent to Mexico to meet Perla and Ofelia Mendoza. Ramon Calderon. The Maldonado Family. Maria Hernandez. Dani and Ale Navarro. And so many more. Whether it was for them or for me... I know that because of who I am, it was necessary to meet them. 

Sure. I changed dramatically on my mission. My testimony is unshakeable, now. I know that this Gospel of Jesus Christ is the true gospel. I know that I am a daughter of a KING. I learned how to live alone, and how to take care of your companion when they need someone. I learned to not judge someone for their past, no matter how bleak and hard it might have been. I came to know that I have a relationship with my Heavenly Father.. a relationship that means more to me than anything else on the planet.

What am I trying to say with this random post of words?

It's okay. It's okay to be the weird sister missionary who still is loud and crazy. It's okay to feel like you aren't LIKE THE REST.

Be you. Be who you want to be. Do what you want to do. Say what you want and need to say. I'm grateful I'm not like other sister missionaries that have come home. I'm grateful that I'm still just as crazy as the day I left. I'm grateful that I found out who I am.

The mission... My heart isn't all here with me in little Utah. Benemerito, Vallejo... that is where the other part of me is. And it will forever be a place indescribable.

The Spirit Testifies

There are many things from my mission that I keep near and dear to my heart. Things that only my companions and I shared, whether with each other or with the amazing people we were with. They are things that I will never be able to express or share with others, because they are so special to me. So sacred.
But there is one story that I will always share. I will always testify that the Holy Ghost is a partner, right along with our Savior and Heavenly Father. The Holy Ghost will ALWAYS testify of the truth. Of the things we should be doing. The good. The correct. The "bueno".
My last week before I came home was a roller coaster. It was one week that I will never be able to forget. Every day is etched in my testimony.
Monday was an amazing day. I got to see old friends in the mission. We were able to hang out, eat some tacos, and just talk and relax. The joy of P-day. While there, I received a call from President Hall. He asked my companion and I to come to his house that night so that I could talk with my amazing stake president, President Spackman. We had to discuss what we were going to do about my health problems. Whether I was going to stay in the mission.
Now you have to understand... up to this point, I had been fighting my illness for 7 months. I was doing everything to stay. I wasn't ever ready to go. But then again, I don't think anyone really ever is.
We got to President Hall's house, and I ran upstairs to chat with President Spackman. The second we started talking, I just cried. Hearing a voice from home that has influenced me since I was a little girl was a tender moment. We talked and we both knew I was going to stay. I was going to finish this mission if it killed me. I had the desire. The faith. It was the goal. With that, we ended the phone call, both on a good note. I had an appointment with the mission doctor the next day to see if he would clear me to stay or not.
You could say my anxiety was at a level 47 on a scale of 1-10.
Tuesday, I headed out with two other Hermana's leaving my daughter, Hermana Gomez, in another area with another missionary. Side note: Never was fun to do that. We both were so relieved to be home together again every time.
The doctor was located at the Mexico Temple, so it was about an hour and a half drive from our mission. Long, stressful, and a painful. That is the only way to describe this unavoidable drive. We got to his offices, and started to discuss with the doctors the problems I had been having. By this time, I had already visited the doctors multiple times in my mission. We had a pretty good relationship. After about 25 minutes of discussion, the doctor and his wife looked me straight in the eye and said, "I'm sorry, sister. We think the only option for you is to go home and get the help you need."
My heart broke.
You know that pain, that heartache that you can literally feel pounding in your chest?
I was experiencing this. But I wasn't ready to back down. To stop. To just... give up.
I'm not a quitter.
We returned home, all a little bit more quiet. This wasn't the end. We knew it.
Wednesday came. I was sick that day. We went and did as much work as we could. But I just couldn't keep up with the flow of the day. My head was killing me. My vision was in and out all day. I stayed with members while my companion went to work with a member. I slept a lot that day.. so, so, so much.
Thursday. Thursday was...
There really isn't a word for it. I could say it was the most heartbreaking day in my entire life. The hardest thing I had ever done. The saddest decision I had ever had to make. I could say all of that. But it wouldn't explain the feelings that I had this day. I woke up, still sick. But I wasn't wasting another day in the house. We went to work, just as we always did. We met up with the elders at 2:00 to go and eat with a member of our amazing ward. While there, I received a call from President Hall. He asked how I was feeling, and me.. being Courtney.. replied, "So good, President! I feel great!" Needless to say, he could tell by my tone of held back tears, I wasn't doing so hot. He asked me, "Hermana Hamilton. I need to know. What is your decision? Are you going to stay or go home? This is your decision, but I need to know."
My response? "President. I'm not going. I won't. I'm staying. We have so much work to do here. I will suck it up. I will work through it. It's WORTH IT."
President Hall - "Okay, hermana. It's okay. I will let your stake president know."
I went back into the members house, a little shaken up, but feeling good with my decision.
Then twenty minutes passed.
20. Minutes.
President called us again. I thought he would be telling me, "Hermana Hamilton, your stake president is on board with you staying. You're going to be okay."

That was not the call I got.

Me - "Hi, president! Everything okay?"
President Hall - "Hermana.. I think you need to come to my house. I feel like we need to call your parents."
Me - "But President... I said I'm staying?"
President - "I know, Hermana. But I just feel like we need to call them."

I started crying the second we hung up. We jumped in a taxi, silent the entire way there. Hermana Gomez just kept patting my shoulder. Letting me know it was going to be alright. We got to President's house, hugs were shared, and I went upstairs to call my mom. When they answered, three of my favorite people happened to be there.
My mom.
My grandpa.
And my baby sister.
We started chatting. My mom wanted to know everything. EVERYTHING. I told her how I was feeling, but that I wanted to stay. I didn't understand why we were even talking! My mom agreed, and my sister and grandpa supported her. We were all on the same page. I was staying. No if's, and's, or but's. After half an hour of beating around it, trying to find out why we were even talking, I asked to talk to my little sister.
Now, you have to know. This girl is a little punk. But she is the child that I love and respect more than any other person on the entire planet. She is my best friend. She is my girl. I asked her straightforward what I should do.
Gracie was in agreement with my mom and grandpa. But the next thing she said to me changed everything.
She literally stopped. Thought for a second. And said, "Court... I want you to stay out.. but I think you need to come home. I think this is something bad and you need to be here so it doesn't get worse."

And with that, I knew I was coming home. In that instant, the Spirit testified to me... more than I have ever felt in my entire life. It was a wave of reassurance. Of clarity. This is the decision I was looking for. I had spent 7 months praying and asking which answer was right. I never received an answer. I spend 7 months telling my Heavenly Father that I was staying. I was going to finish the Lord's Errand I was on. But the second this little 13 year old girl told me I needed to come home, I received the answer I had been searching for. The craziest part? I'm not the only one who knew. My mom and grandpa had felt it in that moment. We all started sobbing. We knew that was it. I was going home. I was going HOME.

I got off the phone with them, still crying. I went to talk with President Hall and stepped into his office...and just lost it. I cried more than I think I ever had in my entire mission. He told me he knew I was going before I said anything. He was just letting me make the decision for myself.

I didn't have the heart to tell my companion, but she knew. She just.. knew. We hugged and cried and cried and hugged a little bit more.

Friday came and President was on the phone with Salt Lake City, telling them what was going to happen. That I would need to be home as soon as possible.

Saturday the secretaries called me telling me I would be leaving Monday morning with the other elders and sisters that were finishing their missions.

Sunday, I packed my entire life in a few suitcases, said goodbye to the greatest ward of my life, the greatest missionaries that I had the pleasure of working with, and my best friend, my companion. I got to presidents house, I had my final interview. We did the big last dinner. Then a testimony meeting that was one of the most beautiful experiences of my mission.

Monday morning, I woke up. I got dressed and ready, just as always. I threw my luggage in a car, and we were off. We got to the airport and started to head home. We landed in Dallas, feeling more strange than ever. Everyone knew English.. it was getting real.
We were coming h-o-m-e.

Pulling into the Salt Lake City airport was... emotional. First, you see the mountains. Then you see the B for Bountiful, while passing MY Bountiful temple. The next sight is the city. Our tiny little city that we love... then you see the Salt Lake Temple. And you know. You feel it.
You've made it.
I remember jumping onto my knees in the seat and looking back at the elders I was coming home with. We all had tears in our eyes.

Coming out of the plane, down the stairs, and around the corner to a whole gaggle of people crying and cheering for you is one of the most... amazing things you will ever feel. You will ever see. I remember running to my mom and sister and brother, throwing my arms around them. Just crying.

I was home.

It was hard. Hard to make the decision to come. But I know that God had me come home for a reason. I did what I was supposed to in Mexico. And even if I wished it could have been longer, it was time. I will forever be grateful for my little sister, opening her mouth and just saying what needed to be said. And I will testify until the day I die and hereafter... the Spirit is always with us when we are living correctly. He will help us with those decisions that maybe we aren't ready to admit. But He will comfort us. Be our friend. Our companion. This gospel is true. It's black and white. It's either all true, or it's not. And I can say, with complete surety, I know for myself, that the Gospel of Jesus Christ, The Church Of Jesus Christ Of Latter-day Saints is the true church. I know it. And I am grateful for that knowledge that I have gained for myself.

Another One Bites the Dust

Okay, I am referring to the week. Another one down. And I have absolutely no clue where it went. The weeks pass by SO fast here. I hit my 4 month mark next week. How crazy is that? Sometimes, it feels like an eternity here. But by the morning, I realize its been another week and I'm still alive. HALLELUAH. 

So I have never really fasted before. Really, EVER. But last week, we did. We needed work here in little Bene. I know its probably hard to imagine.. but really. Four streets by four streets is nuts. We just don't have much room to do anything. So we fasted. And it wasn't super hard. I fasted for a few different things, and did Hna Garzon, and together we fasted for help in this area. And what do you know? We have 20 new investigators!!! And we have baptismal dates!!!!!! I am so happy right now!!

 

Going to talk my compa up for a minute. We had a total moment the other night. We were talking about our investigators, and she looked at me and said, -Hermana... I dont want to leave Bene. We need to stay together for another transfer. You're the best companion I've had yet.- Aww!!! Really. We are such good friends. But it hasn't affected our work. When you become close with someone here, you start to get distracted. It becomes okay to be disobedient. But with our friendship, we have just become stronger in our work. We were up until midnight last night talking about how we can be more obedient. Its a great thing! We went to Chedraui today to buy food... probably one of the best parts of the week ALWAYS.

We left an appointment at 9:45 last night and still had to walk home, so I called President Hall. Its a rule to call after 9 if you're still in the streets. (We have to be home by 9 every night unless we have a lesson.) So I called him, and we were talking. He started speaking in Spanish to me, and went on to tell me that someone in my ward called him about me.. So of course, I started flipping out. OH President, I didn't do anything!! I'm sorry! What did I do?! And he went on to tell me that this person said they don't know how its possible, but my spanish has increased tremendously in the past 3 weeks. They said its a miracle. My heart just swelled. I can't see the improvement, but when the people I'm around do, it means so much to me. 

Christ lives. I know it with every part of my being. I know that He died for ME. Every time we read Luke 22:41-44, My testimony grows. Every time we teach the atonement, my heart rejoices because I have a Savior who lived and died for ME. ME. How did we become so lucky? God loved us so much, He sent his Only Begotten. Its a miracle. I will testify until the days end that this work is the greatest thing we could do. I get to invite others to come unto their Lord, Jesus Christ EVERY. DAY. When I tell people in the street that I am here for a year and a half to preach about Christ, they think I'm crazy. But its so worth it. I know that God has a plan for us. I know that if we live right, I get to be with my family for ETERNITY. How many people can say that? I keep a family picture with me everywhere I go. I show everyone. 1. Everyone here thinks that we are all siblings. So.. Parents.. Way to go. Lookin good and lookin young! 2. Everyone says we are really white... I agree. 3. I know that every time I talk about my siblings, and how I want to be an example for them, the Spirit testifies that I am doing the best I can. 

I hope you are all well. I hope you are all taking time to read and pray. If anything.. pray. I know He listens and I know he wants to hear about what youre feeling and thinking. He cares. He always has, and He always will. I love you. I love this gospel. I love the peole. The food is still nasty, but vale la pena. Its worth it. 

Con mucho amor, siempre

Su hija, 

Hermana Hamilton

MTC Week 1

Okay. So the MTC Week 1.

Thoughts:

 

HOLY COW WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE?

I'm a daughter of a KING!

I just want to go hoooooooome.

When is dinner?

Ooo, cute elder!

Spanish? You expect me to learn a new language?

Really though... the MTC is magical. I see new things happening every single day. We have so much freedom over here on the new campus. So many things to do and see and new people to talk to. Your district becomes your family. Your zone becomes your closest friends. In about a week, we are losing most of our zone. I want to cry. We have all become so close in such a short time. You'll learn to love your comp, even if you don't like them. Trust me. I would know. 

 

Learning a language is really hard. Sometimes, you'll want to cry. Other times, a random teacher will pull you out of class because they feel impressed to talk to you and see whats wrong. Then you cry a little bit more. Really, SO FUN.

 

If you're going to be on a campus... West Campus is the place to be. We are all so friendly here! I love it! Everywhere you go, someone is smiling. Plus, we all speak the same language, so that's fun. You learn a lot faster that way.

 

You  learn quickly that P-day is the best day of the week. You get to go to the temple, go to lunch at random restaurants, chat with your whole zone, do your laundry, write home, and email. It goes by way too fast. 8 days later, you realize that you've been gone from home for over a week, and you're still kickin'. 

If you're considering serving, JUST DO IT. Really. What's stopping you? It's so much fun. It's hard work, and you really don't get breaks. But life just makes sense when you're here. The teachers are great, the Elderes y Hermanas are the happiest people ever. You just can't go wrong. 

Hermana Hamilton

**Hermana Hamilton ran into Elder Flynn her first day at the MTC.

So Long, Farewell

Ladies and gents, I'm off to serve The Lord for 18 months! I couldn't be more excited to give my time and effort to this amazing gospel of Christ! While I'm out, my mothers best friend, my second mama, aka Angie, will be taking over my blog and posting for all those that would like to read! 

I know this church is the true church and I know that our Savior died for our sins and Joseph Smith is a true prophet. I can't wait to finally be out serving in Mexico City, the northwest mission. It will be an adventure of a lifetime. 

Thanks so much for all of the love and support! If you'd like to email me, my email address is chamilton@myldsmail.net 

Remember kids!

The church is true, and the book is blue!

Signing off for now, Hermana Hamilton

So.

I should probably act like I actually care about my blog. Because in all reality, I love this stupid thing. Sometimes I'm fantastic at posting, other times, I tend to procrastinate.

I know. Strike me down. 

But seeing as I leave in a week, seven days, 168 hours, I figured I should post a tad bit. 

This last week has been the emotional week from the underworld. 

I'm not kidding. 

Between packing up my room, packing my bags, my best friends surprising me, speaking at the adult session of stake conference, and everything in the middle, my emotions have been more up and down than an anxious persons heartbeat. 

Packing the room:

Secretly, this was one of the big things I was waiting to cross off the "To Do List". I got rid of SO much junk and useless stuff. It was fabulous! I really had to sit back and think about what I wanted to keep and what I wanted to throw away or give away. Going through pictures, old notebooks, soccer uniforms, junk drawers, it was all a lot to take in. It hit me that I was leaving my life, all that I'd known for 19 years, behind. So many times I would pick up a random object that needed to be sorted and I would just reminisce about who I used to be and what I spent my time doing. It was like my own time capsule. Something that no one but myself would understand. 

Packing my bags: 

There is a chance that my bags have been packed for almost a week and a half.. Sue me. I like to be prepared. Mama H and I keep going over lists and discussing how best to fit the next year and a half of my life in 3 little bags. It's a struggle. All of you missionaries or soon-to-be missionaries will understand. #thestruggleisreal After countless hours of shopping for makeup and sewing supplies and every medical remedy that has been created, we are done. I have about 5 more things on my list that need to be packed, but they can wait until the morning of. It's scary to walk into my mothers office and see my life sitting there. It makes me wonder if I really have everything that I will need. 

Best Friend Surprise of a Lifetime:

Friday, October 25th, I was given the greatest surprise of all time. As I was sitting packing up my room with my mom, my friend Katelyn (Fab Four) kept texting me. Asking how packing was and what I was doing. She kept texting and texting and she was acting SO strange. My moms best friend, my second mom, Angie, who had been helping us pack, had just left. As I was showing my mom a few necklaces and deciding which to keep, I heard footsteps coming down the stairs. I thought, "Oh, it's just Ang. She must have forgotten something." But as I turned out of my doorway, my three best friends all came walking towards me. I started screaming out of pure shock and joy. 

Now, you might be thinking that this isn't cool. That this is a daily occurrence. Well... You would be greatly wrong. You see, about three months ago, two of my best friends left for school in Nebraska, and another friend ventured up to Logan to start school. That left me here, alone, while preparing for my mission. And let me tell you something... Sitting home alone while your friends are all in college and living on their own is ROUGH. The adversary works on you like nobody's business AND you feel like you have no one to talk to. It's like a double whammy. 

Anywho. Back to the story. 

So. My friends walk towards me, I break down into tears as do they. It was emotional. 

The last time I saw these girls and we were all together, we were saying goodbye to each other at our old stomping grounds, Riverdale Park. We didn't think we would see each other again before I left. It was heartbreaking. But Brittany and Sydnee made the 8 hour drive, starting at 8 o'clock Thursday night, and drove all the way through until 4:30 Friday morning. Katelyn came home from Utah State. All to surprise ME. 

WHAT. 

You can't look at my friends and say they aren't the greatest people on earth. Seriously. I love them. I canceled all my plans, we drove to Park City (where the Fab Four started), shopped, ate cereal and cookies, and had a phenomenal vacation. 

Saturday morning, we woke up and went to Britts restuarant. Squids family and Britts dad were there. 

Let me tell you something. Saying goodbye to those amazing people was one of the hardest things. They've been around since I can remember. They've loved me since the day I joined the team. I will forever be grateful for the love they've had for me and the support I've always received from them. 

After a lunch at Scaddy's, we went to Salt Lake. More importantly, we went to Build-a-Bear. There is a great chance that we are way too old to be making stuffed animals. But we needed to. And we really didn't care what anyone thought. We all got the same bear, dressed to our own likings, and stuffed them. The girls made a voice recording and put it in my bear. It was of each of them saying something to me, then ending in a Fab Four sign off. I got a little white shirt and they all wrote their nicknames on it. Now I will have them with me while I serve in Mexico. I couldn't ask for anything better. 

I can guarantee that no one will ever understand the love I have for these three girls. They were my only friends when I had no one back in Syracuse. They were my family. My support. My comedians. My teammates. Everything in between. I will forever be grateful for the lasting impression they have left on me. 18 months isn't so long. We will be reunited soon. 

Thank you to the best best friends and sisters I could ask for. I love you. #fabfour #o4l

Speaking in the Adult Session of Stake Conference:

Coolest. Thing. Ever. 

I thought I was done speaking, seeing as I had already given my farewell. 

Nope. 

I was wrong. 

Shocker. *insert annoyed face*

At first, I was so confused as to why they wanted ME to speak in the adult session. I could understand speaking in the general session Sunday. But adults? I was the youngest one there by at LEAST 10 years. 

Seriously. I think my stake presidency just gets a kick out of having me speak at everything. 

E.v.e.r.y.t.h.i.n.g.

 I spoke on faith, mission prep, and PMG. (Preach My Gospel for those who have no clue what I'm saying.) Ask me if I prepared to speak at all? 

If you guessed no, 

YOU ARE CORRECT. WE HAVE A WINNER. COME GET YOUR PRIZE. 

Really though. I just stood up and decided to wing it. And it rocked. Honestly, the best talk I've ever given. And now? I feel more prepared than ever to leave and serve The Lord. I'm secretly so grateful for the opportunity I had to speak at conference. It was so neat and I learned SO much from it. 

I'm ready, guys. I'm so excited to finally be out in the field serving. I know that this is the next step I need to take in my life. Though it will be challenging and difficult and sometimes I will feel like I can't do it, I know that by putting my trust in our Father in Heaven and his son, Jesus Christ, I will be able to help someone come closer to their Savior. I will be able to make a difference in someone's life. I couldn't be more excited to head to Mexico City and serve. 

I report to the Provo Missionary Training Center on November 6th, 2013 at 1 o'clock to start an adventure of a life time. 

Remember kids, 

The church is true

And

The book is blue

Lacking and Slacking

My deepest apologies, ladies and gents. I used to be so on top of keeping up with my blog. But as of late, I haven't been posting really anything meaningful or noteworthy. I give my most sincere apologies.

What is new, you ask?
(Okay. Maybe you didn't ask that. Just go along with it.)
Well, my lovely readers, there is much to say that has begun! As you know, I have my mission call.

Mexico City Northwest sisters, can I get an AMEN!

I've met two girls now going to my mission. And the nice young gentleman that tested my language a few weeks ago also served in the beautiful city. Heavenly Father knew that I was going to be an anxious-basket case if I arrived in Mexico not knowing one person or knowing anything about the area. That's why, thankfully, He set it up that I would meet my new Sister (see what I did there? Sister... Sister Missionaries.. ah I'm so funny!), Jaclyn! I like to believe that we were friends before this life.

*Story time*
So. I opened my mission call. Freaked out. Came to terms with it. Hashtagged #mexicomexicocitynorthwest on the good old Instagram. And what else popped up with that lovely hashtag? ANOTHER MISSIONARY PICTURE. There was only one other. So you see why I was so excited. Me, being the creep I am, commented on this young fellows photo (it was a picture of him and my home girl, Jaclyn) and said I was going to the same mission! From there, Jaclyn and I texted and after about 2 minutes of talking, I decided that this was going to be a good friendship. We were already acting like friends that had known each other for years. By some weird fate, she had a bridal party in Roy the following Saturday. I wasn't home, but made the joke that her and her parents could come visit me at the good old DB. Yeah. They did. Thankfully, she's just as outgoing as I am, so meeting wasn't awkward. We continued to text and get to know each other. We decided we wanted to go out for lunch in the next week. We picked on a day and that was that. Not even 5 minutes later, she texted me saying we should go do baptisms at the Bountiful temple if we were going to already be there. Funny thing is, I was telling my mom how I was planning on going to do baptisms after lunch already. This made me laugh so hard. Obviously we are supposed to be friends. Since that day, we've been great friends. She leaves a few weeks before I do, but we should be able to catch each other for about a week in the MTC. She's pavin' the way in Mexico. I refer to her as mi futuro companero. I can't wait for us both to be on Mexican soil and teaching and preaching our way into peoples hearts.

Other than that, I work my life away. CB (Cherry Berry) and DB (Deseret Book) are working me to the b-o-n-e. It's nice to earn some money, but I do miss having a social life. I have about 2 friends I could call up right this second and just talk to. Mags, because she's great. And my good friend Brennan. But ya know.. he works everyday as well. So we only talk late at night or early in the morning. I just have to remember... quality. NOT quantity. Mags has been great. During times of stress, she has really stepped up and been the friend that I need. Plus she's an awesome role model to my little sister. Brennan is just as great. He keeps me laughing when I'm struggling. He's great to hang out with and talk to at 2 in the a.m.

I've learned a lot about myself these last few weeks. I don't take crap from people. I can handle being on my own. I really like to shop and buy skirts and shirts and dresses. Regular music makes me sick to my stomach. #hilaryweeksforthewin. 90% of my friends are over the age of 20. I can't really date anymore. As much as I love boys and imagine myself dating them, I just can't do it. I don't get anything from it these days. SO THAT'S GREAT. I miss my soccer sisters. Things were always easier when I could go to them for help. But ya know, growing up and moving away to schools changes things. Thankfully we are pretty good about keeping up with each other.

I promise that I will try to stay on top of my posting game. I mean... I only have 65 days until I leave. I need to make sure I leave SOMETHING good behind.

With the end of this post, I feel like I need to finish with something random and hopefully helpful to someone:

You are great. I don't care how many times you've been told that. Believe it at least this one time. I believe in YOU. You are here for a reason, and you have a purpose. God knew that you were going to be a force to reckon with. That's why He saved you for this day and age. Please don't give up. Don't give up on yourself, your dreams, all the things you're working for. None of it. It's worth it. YOU are worth it. I love you. Never, ever, ever, forget that.

Until next time, sleep well, all. Say your prayers. Remember who you are and what you stand for.

Called To Serve... Finally!

You do not understand how long I have been waiting to finally find out where I am going to serve on my mission.

Okay... it hasn't really been that long. But it has felt like an eternity!

Dear Sister Hamilton,
You are hereby called to serve as a missionary of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. You are assigned to labor in the Mexico Mexico City Northwest Mission. It is anticipated that you will serve for a period of 18 months.
You should report to the Provo Missionary Training Center on Wednesday, November 13, 2013. You will prepare to preach the gospel in the Spanish language.

WHAT?!?! No one saw this coming! I was convinced I was staying in the states, my friends and family kept thinking East coast or Europe. But Mexico?! Holy cow! Last week my mom told me that if I get called to Mexico, I'm not going.. Well... Thanks for jinxing that one, madre. ;)

I couldn't be more excited. If you had asked me a year and a half ago if I was thinking about a mission, I would have thought you were crazy. Now? You can call me Hermana Hamilton! I know that I've been called to Mexico for a specific reason. I know that there are people who are waiting to meet me and hear what I have to say about this amazing gospel.

I'm terrified to finally be a missionary. I don't know the scriptures and the stories like others do. But you know what? That's okay! I will learn, just as everyone else does.

I know this is the true gospel. I have absolutely no doubt that we all chose to come here and go through our trials, because we all knew of the greatness that would come afterwards. I love the prophet. Thomas S. Monson is one of the most amazing people on this planet. He is the current day prophet and I know that he is doing everything he can to help better not only our lives, but everyone we encounter. I'm so grateful for missionary work and the opportunity we have to go out and serve others while we put our own lives on hold.  I know that without my friends and family, I wouldn't be this far. They have been the greatest examples to me in my life. I'm grateful for the atonement and that my sins can be washed away. I'm grateful for a loving Redeemer who gave his life for me. I'm grateful for a plan that can keep our families together forever.

I am so excited to go and serve. I know that it will be hard, but it is what I need to be doing with my life right now. I can't wait!!!!