So.

I should probably act like I actually care about my blog. Because in all reality, I love this stupid thing. Sometimes I'm fantastic at posting, other times, I tend to procrastinate.

I know. Strike me down. 

But seeing as I leave in a week, seven days, 168 hours, I figured I should post a tad bit. 

This last week has been the emotional week from the underworld. 

I'm not kidding. 

Between packing up my room, packing my bags, my best friends surprising me, speaking at the adult session of stake conference, and everything in the middle, my emotions have been more up and down than an anxious persons heartbeat. 

Packing the room:

Secretly, this was one of the big things I was waiting to cross off the "To Do List". I got rid of SO much junk and useless stuff. It was fabulous! I really had to sit back and think about what I wanted to keep and what I wanted to throw away or give away. Going through pictures, old notebooks, soccer uniforms, junk drawers, it was all a lot to take in. It hit me that I was leaving my life, all that I'd known for 19 years, behind. So many times I would pick up a random object that needed to be sorted and I would just reminisce about who I used to be and what I spent my time doing. It was like my own time capsule. Something that no one but myself would understand. 

Packing my bags: 

There is a chance that my bags have been packed for almost a week and a half.. Sue me. I like to be prepared. Mama H and I keep going over lists and discussing how best to fit the next year and a half of my life in 3 little bags. It's a struggle. All of you missionaries or soon-to-be missionaries will understand. #thestruggleisreal After countless hours of shopping for makeup and sewing supplies and every medical remedy that has been created, we are done. I have about 5 more things on my list that need to be packed, but they can wait until the morning of. It's scary to walk into my mothers office and see my life sitting there. It makes me wonder if I really have everything that I will need. 

Best Friend Surprise of a Lifetime:

Friday, October 25th, I was given the greatest surprise of all time. As I was sitting packing up my room with my mom, my friend Katelyn (Fab Four) kept texting me. Asking how packing was and what I was doing. She kept texting and texting and she was acting SO strange. My moms best friend, my second mom, Angie, who had been helping us pack, had just left. As I was showing my mom a few necklaces and deciding which to keep, I heard footsteps coming down the stairs. I thought, "Oh, it's just Ang. She must have forgotten something." But as I turned out of my doorway, my three best friends all came walking towards me. I started screaming out of pure shock and joy. 

Now, you might be thinking that this isn't cool. That this is a daily occurrence. Well... You would be greatly wrong. You see, about three months ago, two of my best friends left for school in Nebraska, and another friend ventured up to Logan to start school. That left me here, alone, while preparing for my mission. And let me tell you something... Sitting home alone while your friends are all in college and living on their own is ROUGH. The adversary works on you like nobody's business AND you feel like you have no one to talk to. It's like a double whammy. 

Anywho. Back to the story. 

So. My friends walk towards me, I break down into tears as do they. It was emotional. 

The last time I saw these girls and we were all together, we were saying goodbye to each other at our old stomping grounds, Riverdale Park. We didn't think we would see each other again before I left. It was heartbreaking. But Brittany and Sydnee made the 8 hour drive, starting at 8 o'clock Thursday night, and drove all the way through until 4:30 Friday morning. Katelyn came home from Utah State. All to surprise ME. 

WHAT. 

You can't look at my friends and say they aren't the greatest people on earth. Seriously. I love them. I canceled all my plans, we drove to Park City (where the Fab Four started), shopped, ate cereal and cookies, and had a phenomenal vacation. 

Saturday morning, we woke up and went to Britts restuarant. Squids family and Britts dad were there. 

Let me tell you something. Saying goodbye to those amazing people was one of the hardest things. They've been around since I can remember. They've loved me since the day I joined the team. I will forever be grateful for the love they've had for me and the support I've always received from them. 

After a lunch at Scaddy's, we went to Salt Lake. More importantly, we went to Build-a-Bear. There is a great chance that we are way too old to be making stuffed animals. But we needed to. And we really didn't care what anyone thought. We all got the same bear, dressed to our own likings, and stuffed them. The girls made a voice recording and put it in my bear. It was of each of them saying something to me, then ending in a Fab Four sign off. I got a little white shirt and they all wrote their nicknames on it. Now I will have them with me while I serve in Mexico. I couldn't ask for anything better. 

I can guarantee that no one will ever understand the love I have for these three girls. They were my only friends when I had no one back in Syracuse. They were my family. My support. My comedians. My teammates. Everything in between. I will forever be grateful for the lasting impression they have left on me. 18 months isn't so long. We will be reunited soon. 

Thank you to the best best friends and sisters I could ask for. I love you. #fabfour #o4l

Speaking in the Adult Session of Stake Conference:

Coolest. Thing. Ever. 

I thought I was done speaking, seeing as I had already given my farewell. 

Nope. 

I was wrong. 

Shocker. *insert annoyed face*

At first, I was so confused as to why they wanted ME to speak in the adult session. I could understand speaking in the general session Sunday. But adults? I was the youngest one there by at LEAST 10 years. 

Seriously. I think my stake presidency just gets a kick out of having me speak at everything. 

E.v.e.r.y.t.h.i.n.g.

 I spoke on faith, mission prep, and PMG. (Preach My Gospel for those who have no clue what I'm saying.) Ask me if I prepared to speak at all? 

If you guessed no, 

YOU ARE CORRECT. WE HAVE A WINNER. COME GET YOUR PRIZE. 

Really though. I just stood up and decided to wing it. And it rocked. Honestly, the best talk I've ever given. And now? I feel more prepared than ever to leave and serve The Lord. I'm secretly so grateful for the opportunity I had to speak at conference. It was so neat and I learned SO much from it. 

I'm ready, guys. I'm so excited to finally be out in the field serving. I know that this is the next step I need to take in my life. Though it will be challenging and difficult and sometimes I will feel like I can't do it, I know that by putting my trust in our Father in Heaven and his son, Jesus Christ, I will be able to help someone come closer to their Savior. I will be able to make a difference in someone's life. I couldn't be more excited to head to Mexico City and serve. 

I report to the Provo Missionary Training Center on November 6th, 2013 at 1 o'clock to start an adventure of a life time. 

Remember kids, 

The church is true

And

The book is blue

Coincidence? I THINK NOT.

My good friend, Maggie, made this comment the other day. "There are no such thing as coincidences. It's just times that the Spirit remains anonymous."

I'm pretty sure that is the most accurate statement to ever be made in the history of all time. Ever.

We will start with a story from last week. Last Sunday, to be exact. As you all know, my good friend Maggie is now on an adventure in New Jersey working as a nanny. Has it been the hardest thing ever? Why yes. Yes it has. But that's not the point of this story! 

So. 

Every Sunday (we try to make it every Sunday), Breckell Souifua, Maggie, and myself make our way to the Bountiful temple to just walk around and talk about life and all that is happening. It's one of my most favorite weekly traditions. With last Sunday being our last chance to do this, we made the decision to venture to Salt Lake City and walk around Temple Square. Best. Night. Ever. 

We took pictures, chatted, walked in silence and just took in the spirit of the temple. As we were leaving, we happened upon a group of Polynesian individuals singing to the sister missionaries that were heading back to their apartments. We sat and listened as they finished the song. They said goodbye to the sisters and Maggie jumped at the open opportunity. She asked the singers if they would sing one more song for us. They were hesitant at first. We started talking to them about random things. They asked if we were going on missions, which we all replied yes to and that I had my call. 

That's when the magic really began. 

They said they were going to sing a song of verses straight from the Doctrine and Covenants about missionary work. I was in tears. The spirit was so unbelievably strong, I couldn't keep my emotions inside.

We sat and thanked them for singing that amazing song for us. Maggie requested another song, I Know My Redeemer Lives. They weren't as excited to do this. We talked with them about how this was our last weekend together and that we never came to the Salt Lake temple for our Sunday adventures. Maggie started crying and you could see that they knew they needed to sing. The two boys of the group decided on a mash up of I Feel My Savior's Love and I Know My Redeemer Lives. 

I never wanted the song to end. It was exactly what we needed as friends. All three of us started crying. The spirit was SO strong. I didn't want it to end. As soon as the song was over, the singers all said how they felt that they needed to come to temple square that night. I have no doubt in my mind that it was for us. 

Coincidence? I think not. There was a reason we went to Salt Lake. There was a reason we happened upon a group of singers that weren't even planning on going that night. I think Heavenly Father knew that we needed that. 

As we drove back to Maggie's house, there was complete silence in the car. Mags cried most of the way home with the realization that she was leaving. We say in her driveway for about an hour and a half just talking. 

Okay. Not really talking. More like sobbing. 

I think that it was all part of the plan that Maggie, Breckell, and I all became close. We need(ed) each other, more than ever. 

Side note: If you read this whole post, I love you and think the world of you. 

NEXT STORY

So I'm at work the other day. And it was SUCKY. I'm not even kidding. I've never had that bad of a day before. Normally work is the thing that makes me feel better. Not this time!

It was Wednesday. The day that my BFF had officially left for New Jersey. I came into work crying because I had never felt more alone. I had 0 friends. My boss and one of the supervisors came to check on me and I was just a wreck. They hugged me and said it was all going to be okay. 

Sure, sure. That's what they all say. 

So I'm out on the sales floor when who walks in? Noel Greenhalgh! I about shouted with joy. I ran over to her and she gave me the biggest hug! We say and talked for a bit. She took one look at me and knew something was up. (She is fantastic at reading people.) I told her about Maggie and how I was feeling more alone than ever. At first, she joked saying now I could come see her and hang out with her more. 

Really though. I will. 

After joking around for a minute, she became serious. She looked and me and said, "I wasn't going to come in today. I had no reason to. I have so much to do at home. But I had a feeling that I needed to come in and see if you were working. I think this is why."

Coincidence? I really don't believe so. Noel has been there for me a lot these last few months. Having her show up at work and just talk to me was exactly what I needed. She knew what to say, she told me that I needed to come hang out with the kids, all of that. I was on the verge of tears the whole time. 

The spirit works in mysterious ways. 

So-called coincidences of my life:

1. I had my best friends. People I thought I would never separate from. But Mags and I were so lucky to have seminary together last year. We started to talk and now we have an "eternal friendship" (inside reference between the two of us) 

2. The mission age changed right as my hips were at their worst. The mission age changed right as I didn't make the high school soccer team. The mission age changed when I decided for myself that I wanted to marry a young man worthy to take me to the temple. The mission age changed when I had no clue where I was going to go for school the next year. 

3. Hispanic couples keep coming into work and talk with me. They speak Spanish and I have to try and decipher what they are saying. 

4. I'm speaking Spanish on my mission. I want to be a social worker when I return home. Knowing two languages will be so beneficial. 

5. My sister is my number one go to person. We are so ridiculously close right now. 

6. I wasn't supposed to run cross country in high school. I probably ran about 5 races and then stopped. But I met the most amazing guy from it. 

These are just a few things I think of when I think of "coincidences". I think the Heavenly Father and Christ have a plan for us. They know what we need, when we need it most. 

These last few months have been some of the most spiritual times of my life. I couldn't be any more grateful for this amazing, perfect, beautiful gospel and all that we have been blessed with. 

Dear Best Friend-

You have no idea how much I miss you. And it's true. I really do miss you more and more everyday. But I'm not going to sit around and wait for you to apologize. Yes, things happened that you might not have liked. But that happens. I wasn't malicious in my actions. It would have been a whole different story if I was acting in spite of you. Which you and I both know I would never do, because I love you. 

I've talked to our mutual friends. They agree that this fight I stupid. I want to talk it out, but you're completely against it. I miss having you to turn to. One day I hope you can look back and see how ridiculous this all is. It's a misunderstanding and things have been blown way too far out of proportion. 

When YOUR best guy friend and my best guy friend are talking about it while they are together, that's when you know this has gotten out of hand. They agree that you need to sit and listen to my side of the story. But you choose to only listen to what you want. 

I'm not saying any of this to be rude or hurtful. I'm saying it because it's honest and upfront. That's how we USED to be with each other. It's how we worked. 

I miss you. I miss your family. I miss our times together. I want it back to how it was. But until you are ready to sit and talk, I will go on with my life just as you will with yours. 

Dear best friend... This sucks. I miss you. I love you. I pray for you. I hope you're well. I am ALWAYS going to be here for you. No matter what happens. 

Lacking and Slacking

My deepest apologies, ladies and gents. I used to be so on top of keeping up with my blog. But as of late, I haven't been posting really anything meaningful or noteworthy. I give my most sincere apologies.

What is new, you ask?
(Okay. Maybe you didn't ask that. Just go along with it.)
Well, my lovely readers, there is much to say that has begun! As you know, I have my mission call.

Mexico City Northwest sisters, can I get an AMEN!

I've met two girls now going to my mission. And the nice young gentleman that tested my language a few weeks ago also served in the beautiful city. Heavenly Father knew that I was going to be an anxious-basket case if I arrived in Mexico not knowing one person or knowing anything about the area. That's why, thankfully, He set it up that I would meet my new Sister (see what I did there? Sister... Sister Missionaries.. ah I'm so funny!), Jaclyn! I like to believe that we were friends before this life.

*Story time*
So. I opened my mission call. Freaked out. Came to terms with it. Hashtagged #mexicomexicocitynorthwest on the good old Instagram. And what else popped up with that lovely hashtag? ANOTHER MISSIONARY PICTURE. There was only one other. So you see why I was so excited. Me, being the creep I am, commented on this young fellows photo (it was a picture of him and my home girl, Jaclyn) and said I was going to the same mission! From there, Jaclyn and I texted and after about 2 minutes of talking, I decided that this was going to be a good friendship. We were already acting like friends that had known each other for years. By some weird fate, she had a bridal party in Roy the following Saturday. I wasn't home, but made the joke that her and her parents could come visit me at the good old DB. Yeah. They did. Thankfully, she's just as outgoing as I am, so meeting wasn't awkward. We continued to text and get to know each other. We decided we wanted to go out for lunch in the next week. We picked on a day and that was that. Not even 5 minutes later, she texted me saying we should go do baptisms at the Bountiful temple if we were going to already be there. Funny thing is, I was telling my mom how I was planning on going to do baptisms after lunch already. This made me laugh so hard. Obviously we are supposed to be friends. Since that day, we've been great friends. She leaves a few weeks before I do, but we should be able to catch each other for about a week in the MTC. She's pavin' the way in Mexico. I refer to her as mi futuro companero. I can't wait for us both to be on Mexican soil and teaching and preaching our way into peoples hearts.

Other than that, I work my life away. CB (Cherry Berry) and DB (Deseret Book) are working me to the b-o-n-e. It's nice to earn some money, but I do miss having a social life. I have about 2 friends I could call up right this second and just talk to. Mags, because she's great. And my good friend Brennan. But ya know.. he works everyday as well. So we only talk late at night or early in the morning. I just have to remember... quality. NOT quantity. Mags has been great. During times of stress, she has really stepped up and been the friend that I need. Plus she's an awesome role model to my little sister. Brennan is just as great. He keeps me laughing when I'm struggling. He's great to hang out with and talk to at 2 in the a.m.

I've learned a lot about myself these last few weeks. I don't take crap from people. I can handle being on my own. I really like to shop and buy skirts and shirts and dresses. Regular music makes me sick to my stomach. #hilaryweeksforthewin. 90% of my friends are over the age of 20. I can't really date anymore. As much as I love boys and imagine myself dating them, I just can't do it. I don't get anything from it these days. SO THAT'S GREAT. I miss my soccer sisters. Things were always easier when I could go to them for help. But ya know, growing up and moving away to schools changes things. Thankfully we are pretty good about keeping up with each other.

I promise that I will try to stay on top of my posting game. I mean... I only have 65 days until I leave. I need to make sure I leave SOMETHING good behind.

With the end of this post, I feel like I need to finish with something random and hopefully helpful to someone:

You are great. I don't care how many times you've been told that. Believe it at least this one time. I believe in YOU. You are here for a reason, and you have a purpose. God knew that you were going to be a force to reckon with. That's why He saved you for this day and age. Please don't give up. Don't give up on yourself, your dreams, all the things you're working for. None of it. It's worth it. YOU are worth it. I love you. Never, ever, ever, forget that.

Until next time, sleep well, all. Say your prayers. Remember who you are and what you stand for.

Perspective

I wish people could just see things as I see them. I wish they would understand them as I do. But alas, that's where agency comes in. 

I was out at dinner tonight with a friend. While sitting there, enjoying our breadsticks, some people next to us were talking about a man from work. They made a joke about how he has 10 kids, so he must be a Mormon. They then continued on to make a few subtle jokes about the Mormons and how we have so many wives and kids. This is one of those things that drives me crazy. Yes. Some of our prophets did have more than one wife. That is not longer the case though, and hasn't for a great while. Yes. There are some families that have quite a few kids. But is that your place to judge? 

I guess I just don't get it. These ladies have probably never been to a sacrament meeting. They've probably never really thought about how normal we as Latter-Day Saints are. Maggie and I decided to write a note to these women as we were walking out. We started off by saying thank you for serving our country. They were in the armed forces and have just gotten home. Following our thank you, we left a little friendly fact, just saying that not all Mormons have 10 kids and 6 wives. We are normal every day people. We also invited them to read The Book of Mormon and learn for themselves. We left the note on their table and walked out. Who knows? Maybe they sat and just laughed at us, or maybe we sparked something in them. Either way, we did our part. 

Another part of this post will be short and sweet. Okay... Maybe not so short. My apologies.  

Yes, people argue and disagree. We all have our own opinions and reasons for doing the things that we do. These past few weeks, I've been getting the cold shoulder from some friends. It's not a big deal, but it's dragged on far too long. We've both given our sides of the story and the reasoning of why we did some things. I just feel as though these friends aren't looking at it from my perspective. It has made it hard to try and fix things when both sides aren't open to discussion. Truth be told, I do miss my friends. But I'm not sitting around and waiting for them. I've said my peace, I've been upfront and honest about everything. When they decide to get off of their high horses and discuss things, we will. I'm happy to do it. But I won't put my opinion of the matter to the side. I stand by what I did and I'm not apologizing for it. I shouldn't have to. It's been rough without them by my side, but it's also taught me that I'm okay by myself. I don't need to talk to people constantly or always have something to do. 

I'm probably rambling quite a bit. Sorry about that. I just felt that I needed to get some of this out. Again, I wish we could all understand each others perspectives and how we think and deal with things. 

103 days until I leave. Bring it on.